I’m honored to invite you along for this conversation with my speaker coach and friend Alexia Vernon, about the responsibility we have to clarify what matters most to us and to speak our truth.
Recorded the afternoon before election day 2020, this episode arrives at just the right moment. Because no matter what comes next, we understand more than ever now the importance of using our perspectives, our stories, and our feelings, the full range of them, to deliver our message and create change.
I first met Lex during a workshop she led at Camp GLP (Good Life Project) and became instantly drawn in by her experience and presence. Branded a “Moxie Maven” by Obama’s White House Office of Public Engagement, Lex is a renowned speaking coach to entrepreneurs, coaches, and influencers who want to spread their bold ideas, grow their businesses, and advance their thought leadership. She supports thousands of speakers through her training, events, and mastermind, speaks at Fortune 500 companies, TEDx, and at the United Nations and her advice has been featured by CNN, NBC, and CBS, to name a few. She’s also the author of the award-winning book, Step into Your Moxie, the host of the Moxielicious podcast, and the creator of the popular LinkedIn Learning course, Communicating to Move People to Take Action.
Last year, I had the honor of hosting an Improv for Speakers event Lex led and then serving as an Ambassador and Affiliate for her signature speaking program, The Spotlight Speaker Accelerator. Half-way through the program, we found ourselves in the midst of a global pandemic, wondering whether our messages and voices still mattered, but showing up anyway with Lex as our guide.
Another member of the Mother’s Quest Community who kept showing up, someone I deeply admire, and one of my favorite podcast guests, is the Mom Center’s Graeme Seabrook who in this episode’s dedication shares about the impact that Lex had on helping her your voice and impact grow.
What’s happening for Graeme is what Lex calls Stepping into Your Moxie. She says when you step into your moxie, it means that you have the ability to walk into any room or onto any stage and speak up for yourself and the ideas and issues that matter most to you and you know that when you use your voice, you move people to take action with what you have said.
In this episode, Lex gives us so much Stepping Into Our Moxie wisdom by generously sharing stories from her E.P.I.C. life... from speaking the truth about her sexual abuse as a young child, to the ways she helps her young daughter find her voice, from the spark moment that helped her realize her calling as a speaker coach to the ways she has given herself permission to feel her feelings again and again, especially as she faces a current health challenge with thyroid cancer.
In addition to the gift of this conversation, Lex is serving as the Mother’s Quest Ambassador in the private Facebook Group this November and leading a free upcoming virtual workshop called “Discover Your Secret Sauce as a Speaker.”
I will be tuning into all of this as I follow my commitment to Lex’s challenge for us to think about
1) What one idea more than anything we really want to be known for and
2) How we can start moving into conversations more clearly speaking up for that idea and doing it unapologetically.
I hope you’ll join me in Stepping into Our Moxie and Speaking Our Truth.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by: Graeme Seabrook
Graeme Seabrook is a maternal mental health expert, advocate, and community leader who helps moms remove their capes and reconnect with their whole selves. As a certified life coach and founder of The Mom Center, an online community exclusively for moms, she has coached over 2,000 mothers on how to place their names at the top of their priority list, without guilt or shame.
Described as radical, honest, and uplifting, her approach to this work includes a methodology that sits at the intersection of capitalism, patriarchy, and self-care. Her message moves beyond the traditional themes of finding balance and improving productivity for moms, and takes a 360 degree look into strategies that encourage their complete mental and emotional wellness.
Her goal is to put moms in the spotlight and celebrate them for their courage to stand boldly in the truth of who they are - as whole human mamas.
Graeme's Episode on the Mother's Quest Podcast:
Ep 61: Reclaiming Ourselves in Motherhood: Revisited with Graeme Seabrook
In This Episode We Talk About:
- Full transparency: what happened the first time Lex and I sat down for an interview and why I asked if we could re-record
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Teaching our children to find their voices from a young age and how Lex’s mother helped Lex find the words to share about her sexual abuse at the age of four.
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Lex’s moments of “speaking bliss” throughout her life and what distinguished them
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How Lex spoke her truth at an Entrepreneurial Competition where not a single women speaker was awarded and how that became a spark for her career as a women’s speaker coach
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The ways that Lex uses inquiry and growth vs. fixed mindset and the innovator’s mindset to help her daughter connect to her voice and impact
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Lex’s signature Speaker Spotlight Accelerator program, and how it helped me reconnect to my voice during the beginning of the pandemic
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How Lex sees using our voices not as an opportunity but a responsibility
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Lex’s health challenge with thyroid cancer and how it is causing her to make new meaning in her life
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Some people nurture their own dreams in their children and the importance of doing this for ourselves
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Giving permission to feel our feelings and how we can reframe and use our “sensations” to become more powerful speakers
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Where Lex finds community among the cohorts of women she coaches and the gift of showing up to serve other people
This Episode's Challenge:
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Think about what one idea more than anything we really want to be known for and...
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How we can start moving into conversations more clearly speaking up for that idea and doing it unapologetically.
Learn More About Alexia Vernon:
Branded a “Moxie Maven” by President Obama’s White House Office of Public Engagement for her unique and effective approach to empowering women’s professional success, Alexia is the author of Step into Your Moxie: Amplify Your Voice Visibility, and Influence in the World. A sought-after speaker, coach, consultant and media contributor, Alexia is the creator and leader of multiple speaker training programs and has delivered transformational keynotes and corporate trainings for Fortune 500 companies and professional associations, spoken at the United Nations, delivered a TEDx talk on the future of feminism, and been featured by media including CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Inc., and Women’s Health.
Follow Lex:
- Website: www.alexiavernon.com
- Instagram: @alexiavernon
- @alexiavernonTwitter:
- Spotlight Speakers Salon
Resources Mentioned:
- Discover Your 'Secret Sauce' as a Speaker
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The Episode where I reconnected to my voice with Lex's support:
A Special Mother’s Day Episode: Choose Yourself and Reclaim Your E.P.I.C. Life
*The links with asterisks above are affiliate links, which means if you end up signing up for a paid program with Lex, Mother's Quest may receive a commission or referral fee. I only ever recommend programs or services I believe in!
Announcements:
Discover Your 'Secret Sauce' as a Speaker
Are you new-ish to your business and struggling to connect with ideal clients? Or, are you an experienced coach, consultant, or expert who is ready for more visibility?
After this virtual workshop, develop the mindset, confidence, and tools to create virtual and live presentations that get you plum speaking bookings (and clients!).
In this LIVE (and free) virtual workshop you will:
- Slay speaking self-doubt that keeps you playing small as a coach, consultant, expert, or leader
- Illuminate the idea(s) you want to be known for so you can develop soul-stirring presentations that move live and virtual audiences to take action and work with you
- Clarify the best groups to pitch based on your top business goals
- Learn how to articulate your “secret sauce” so that event organizers, meeting planners, and corporate leaders are eager to book you to speak
Join the live & FREE virtual workshop 👉 HERE!
Mother's Quest Caregiver Circle
Join me and podcast guest, wellness expert and mom to two daughters with rare and chronic illnesses, Nancy Netherland in our first ever Mother’s Quest Caregiver Circle!!
I am beyond honored and excited to open registration for the last Mother's Quest Circle to embark in 2020, especially for Caregivers of children who are differently-wired, have disabilities and/or unique health needs.
Doubly honored to co-facilitate with MQ Circle alum, podcast guest, and self-proclaimed "momologist" Nancy Netherland. Nancy will be bringing her first-hand experience caring for her children with wellness practices to the Circle.
Ready to invest in yourself? And find community as you transition from 2020 to 2021 on your quest? Join us!
Not for you, but know someone who might be interested? Please help us spread the word. We start next week!
Apply 👉 HERE!
Join us in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group
At the time I’m releasing this episode, during the COVID-19 global pandemic, so many of us are seeking ways to connect with one another, even while needing to stay physically apart. If you identify with being a mother on a quest and you’re not yet a member of the free private Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, I invite you to join us for opportunities to learn together, to share what we have to offer one another and where we need support, and to find ways to make meaning of all we’re going through right now. Visit www.motherquest.com/community to join and I’d be honored to welcome you in.
Season Five of the Mother’s Podcast is Under Way! – Help us Spread the Word
If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!
Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here:
How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad
On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple’s Podcast app.
Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen.
Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. …
Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Herve Clermont
Samantha Arsenault
Vickie Giambra
Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage
Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Samantha Arsenault
Attica Locke
Graeme Seabrook
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
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Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
At the time of this episode’s release, we are at a crossroads in the United States. This election of 2020 is one of the most important in our history. As activist Michael Skolnik says, the election is not 7 days away. The election is now.
What can we do in our last few days before the conclusion of the election of 2020?
Like so many of you, I am asking myself what matters most and what I can do that can have an impact in these 7 days. When I feel myself swirling, I remember I don’t have to figure this out alone. So, I reached out to you, fellow mothers and grandmothers, many of you activists, and asked for your words of wisdom.
Ahead, I have 7 pieces of advice, reflections or calls to action, that we can all connect to for guidance and inspiration each day ahead. This is an election minisode...because I wanted these to be bite-sized and easy to digest. Please join me in taking these words in, taking action, and paying the messages forward to other mothers in your network.
I hope this minisode has you, as it does me, ready to dig in, to connect to community, to engage in multiple ways, to vote for our children, to remember why this matters, to get the vote out with women of color and make sure their votes count, and to mother like an organizer. Together, we can do this!
#momthevote #votelikeamother #momsrising
Thank you to Jen Jenkins Dohner for the beautiful “VOTE” podcast art. Find her work, Postcards for Progress here.
Episode Highlights:
- The election is not 7 days away...the election is now and we can look to one another for how to use these days to the fullest.
- Why it matters to dig into propositions and ballot measures you might not understand.
- Our election is not just about us as individuals, it's about us as a society.
- How we can use discernment and tap into our community to get us through. Register today for Nicole Lee’s Way Station, happening Friday to support you in that.
- 5 ways that you can get engaged through MomsRising.
- All the reasons why we should vote for our children.
- How elections can be a joyful time for families.
- The critical role that women of color voters play in this election and how we can make their vote count. Sign up here to text bank with She the People Wednesday.
- Wise advice from a life-long organizer, mother and grandmother working to galvanize voting from and for domestic workers through Hand in Hand and her Caring Majority Facebook Group.
Resources Recommended by Our Mother Contributors:
- The event Nicole Lee is co-facilitating:Way Station
- 5 Ways to Help Get Out the Vote from MomsRising
- She the People
- Black-Led Organizing Fund
- California Voter Guide
- Vote411
- Lose the Cape Vol 4: The Mom's Guide to Becoming Socially & Politically Engaged (& How to Raise Tiny Activists), 2nd Edition
7 Pieces of Advice From Our Contributors:
Advice #1 - Nancy Cavillones - Dig into Ballot Measures Because They Matter to Someone
Nancy Cavillones is an indie author’s best friend and is on a mission to keep authors sane by handling the minutiae of their online presence and communications. She’s been online in some form or other since 1993, and still has the AOL dial-up tone stuck in her head. (Interested in the full history? Check out her LinkedIn.)
She enjoys taking the scenic route, forcing her kids to appreciate nature, and spending time in New York City by herself in a desperate attempt to recapture her college days. Originally from Upstate NY by way of Long Island, Nancy recently relocated to Northern California with her family from Redding, Connecticut. Nancy is the co-editor of Lose the Cape Mom’s Guide to Becoming Socially and Politically Engaged (And Rising Tiny Activists, Too!).
Where to reach Nancy:
- The Real Nani
- Twitter @va4indieauthors
- LinkedIn @ncavillones
- Lose the Cape Mom’s Guide to Becoming Socially and Politically Engaged (And Rising Tiny Activists, Too!).
Advice #2 - Nicole Lee - Reach Out Personally to Voters, Use Discernment and Connect to Community
Nicole Lee is a diversity, equity and inclusion expert, leadership coach, nationally recognized speaker and strategist who regularly consults with nonprofits, schools, businesses and political and social movements to improve their climate for themselves and all those that they serve. She is the founder of Inclusive Life™ and co-founder of the Lee Bayard Group LLC and Black Movement-Law Project (BMLP). For almost a decade she served as President of TransAfrica, working with leaders across the globe to advocate for a just U.S. foreign policy.
Nicole is a prolific speaker who has given testimony to the U.S. Congress, the United Nations and other international bodies. She has been a commentator on CNN, MSNBC, NPR, and BBC. She has been recognized for her outstanding contributions in the private and public sectors through numerous awards, including Congressional Black Caucus, Running Starts “Women to Watch”, Black Women’s Roundtable TrailBlazer, Global Leadership and the National Newspapers Publishers Association’s Press Champion Award. She is both an attorney and an intuitive coach. Through this unique blend, she has contributed to movements in the U.S. and abroad through human rights documentation, coaching and holding space in difficult situations.
One of her proudest moments was working alongside civil rights icon Bill Lucy, the architect of the historic Memphis sanitation strike for a national commemoration of the life of his good friend Nelson Mandela. Nicole lives in Washington, DC with her husband, political scientist Marc Bayard, children and three pets.
Where to reach Nicole:
Advice #3 - Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner - Find Five Ways to Engage Through MomsRising
Kristin is the Executive Director/CEO and Co-Founder of MomsRising and Board President of the MomsRising Education Fund. She has been involved in public policy and grassroots engagement for more than two decades and has received numerous accolades for her work.
She is also an award-winning author of books and articles, frequent public speaker, media contributor, and host of the radio program “Breaking Through with Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner (Powered by MomsRising).” Kristin is also a former political director, policy analyst, and political strategy consultant for non-profit organizations and foundations.
Where to reach Kristin:
Advice #4 - Kalima Salahuddin - Vote for Our Children and Have Them Join You in the Process
Kalimah Salahuddin currently serves as President for the Jefferson Union High School District Board of Education She is the immediate Past President of the San Mateo County School Boards Association (SMCSBA) were she served for two years and continues to serve as the Coordinator for the SMCSBA Equity Network. At the County level she serves on the COVID-19 Recovery Council and the Advisory Council for the Equity initiative. She was one of the founding members of the REACH Coalition to increase equity and community health for all. She also was recently appointed to the Board of the Housing Leadership Council and previously served as a Board Member for Habitat for Humanity Greater San Francisco where she has been a regular site volunteer. She is currently employed at Exelixis as a Coordinator on the Investor Relations / Public Affairs team and is mother to three wonderful adults.
Advice #5 - Jena Schwartz - Connect to All the Reasons That Voting Matters
Jena is an extroverted introvert, a lover of trees and fresh water swimming and babies and bulldogs, and a rabbi at heart. All of her works, from writing groups to retreats to individual coaching, editing, and mentoring, is devoted to creating safe and brave spaces where we get to write, share, and connect. She has been blogging as a practice since 2007. She works with people who struggle to value their writing if/when it's not "productive" or clearly "going somewhere."
Where to Reach Jena:
Advice #6 - Aimee Allison - Get Out the Vote and Make Sure Every Vote Counts From Critical Women of Color Voters
Aimee Allison is founder and president of She the People, a national network elevating the voice and power of women of color. She brings together voters, organizers, and elected leaders in a movement grounded in values of love, justice, belonging, and democracy. In 2018, Ms. Allison was one of the primary architects of the “year of women of color in politics.”
In April 2019, she convened the first presidential forum for women of color, reaching a quarter of the American population. A democratic innovator and visionary, Ms. Allison leads national efforts to build inclusive, multiracial coalitions led by women of color. She leverages media, research and analysis to increase voter engagement and advocate for racial, economic and gender justice.
Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, The Hill, Essence, Teen Vogue and Newsweek. In the early 1990’s, Ms. Allison earned a rare honorable discharge from the U.S. Army as a conscientious objector and works today to support courageous, moral leadership.
Aimee Allison holds a B.A. and M.A. from Stanford University. Author of Army of None, she has appeared in hundreds of outlets including MSNBC, CNN, the Washington Post, Associated Press and NPR. She is building a political home for a million women of color, nationally and in battleground states. She was featured in Politico’s 2019 Powerlist.
Where to Reach Aimee:
- Aimee Allison website
- She The People
- Instagram @aimee_allison
- Sign up for Wednesday Text Banking with She the People
- Tune into the full conversation with @Aimee Allison on political impact and fundraising released earlier on the podcast ℅ How Women Lead
Advice #7 - Lian Hurst Mann - Remember Elections Are About Legacy...And Mother Like an Organizer
Bio coming soon: see show notes at www.mothersquest.com/podcast to view
Where To Reach Lian:
- Instagram @herwisdomgrows
- Hand in Hand - The Domestic Employers Network
- Caring Majority Rising Facebook Group
Hello and welcome to a very different episode on the Mother’s Quest Podcast.
Michael Skolnik, who is a political activist and friend of mine, has been sharing a series of posts on Instagram that call me to action every time I see them. The last one I saw a few days ago said this: “The election is not 30 days away. The election is over in 30 days. The election is now. Vote early.”
Like so many of you, I’ve been asking myself if I understand that the election is now...what can I be doing to impact the election now? One thing I know I have is this platform and the Mother’s Quest Community. So, I’m committed to sharing a series of episodes to shine light on the importance of this election and what we can do about it. Last week I released a conversation I hope you’ll tune into with Paola Mendoza and Abby Sher about their powerful new book, Sanctuary, and the impact of this election on undocumented immigrants and asylum seekers.
In this episode, with the permission of How Women Lead’s Julie Abrams, I’m honored to share a powerful conversation I heard live this week featuring Emerge, Women’s Donor Network and UCSF’s Dr. Gretchen Sisson and She the People’s Aimee Allison. They both share their strategic advice for where our political giving can have the most impact right now. Unfortunately the recording didn’t begin until a few minutes in...so you’ll have to jump right in mid-stream. Be sure to connect to the link with the slides in the show notes which will help you make sense of Gretchen’s fast, furious and in-depth presentation.
After listening, I hope you’ll consider joining me in making a political contribution, informed by Gretchen and Aimee’s analysis. And consider paying this episode forward to another woman in your network.
In How Women Lead’s words, “This year marks the centennial of women’s right to vote. We must take action to elect leadership we can proudly call our own, who understand the issues we face daily and design policies that ensure our rights.”
I hope this conversation helps us all to do this together.
Much appreciation,
Julie Neale
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
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Political Fundraising - Demystifying the Process & Making an Impact in 2020
Originally Aired on October 6, 2020, Presented by How Women Lead
The impact of women on the 2020 election:
- Where will my political giving have the greatest impact?
- What women candidates should I back?
- Where is my volunteer time best spent?
- What organizations are impacting the political systems where I can donate?
“Our collective impact is our greatest strength: learning from each other and banding together to act!”
This year has tested our limits and fortitude in every way. It has highlighted the flaws in the social and economic culture in our country. While we seem more divided than ever before, I have seen our sisters come together to lift one another up, hold each other’s hands, and stand strong against challenges. YOU give me hope.
Amidst a racial reckoning, gender divide, climate crisis and a global pandemic, we’re arguable facing the most consequential election of our time and women stand to lose the most. The loss of RBG has put an added responsibility on each of us to put up a good fight for everything that we hold dear.
This year marks the centennial of women’s right to vote. Yet, shocking even this right has been put up for debate. We must take action to elect leadership we can proudly call our own, who understand the issues we face daily and design policies that ensure our rights.
“Women’s active participation in politics is not only a human right but also a key to sustainable development and a thriving democracy.”
We held a Virtual Vigil for RBG last week and were touched by the fire in each of you. We need to keep that fire going and show up stronger than before.
44% of large dollar donors for federal campaigns in 2020 are women, up from 24% in 1990
Resources from this Episode:
- “No Regrets” Guide to Taking Effective Action in the 2020 Election
- Slide Presentation for Political Fundraising - Demystifying the Process & Making an Impact in 2020 by Gretchen Sisson
- Please sign up here to join She the People's virtual text bank this Sunday (Oct 11) to get out the vote in battleground states: http://act.democracyforamerica.com/survey/Text2PAV201011/
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- Anyone can join regardless of age or citizenship
- She the People will provide all the information and script you need
- Here are a few resources that were shared by participants:
- Latino Voter Guide
- Forecasting the US election
- ActBlue
- MoveOn
- Daniel's Guide to Taking Action in 2020
Announcements:
Ep 78: An Urgent Warning with Sanctuary’s Co-Authors Paola Mendoza and Abby Sher
I first interviewed Paola after the Women’s March of 2016, personally still shell-shocked by the election of Trump and searching to find my own voice of resistance and path to activism. Since then, she has continued to be at the forefront of social change, especially when it comes to the issue of immigration, as she has organized, demonstrated, documented stories while travelling with the Caravan and now co-written a young adult novel that is both a cautionary tale and story of hope, Sanctuary.
Hope and faith run through this conversation I have with Paola and Abby just as it runs through the poignant book they co-created, a story that paints a harrowing picture of a dystopian future, an America in 2032 that microchips its citizens to easily identify and capture undocumented immigrants. It’s also a book that illuminates resilience, strength, and the power of love.
I hope you’ll listen with an open heart as Paola and Abby share about the teenage protagonist Vali who becomes a freedom fighter, the mother who sets Vali on her quest, how storytelling builds compassion and calls us to action, and how you and I can spread this story far and wide and organize for the upcoming election. In doing so, we can shape a hopeful future and help make possible freedom and sanctuary for undocumented immigrants like Vali, like the families whose stories Paola has documented, like the mothers in Matamoros, and like our own neighbors, who help our communities in essential ways.
Let’s Renew Our Commitment to Racial Justice This High Holiday Season
I published my first piece on a topic so important. Would love for you to share with anyone you think would be open to listening and learning from these lessons/conversations highlighted.
If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!
Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here:
How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad
On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple’s Podcast app.
Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen.
Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. …
Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.
At the time I’m releasing this episode, during the COVID-19 global pandemic, so many of us are seeking ways to connect with one another, even while needing to stay physically apart. If you identify with being a mother on a quest and you’re not yet a member of the free private Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, I invite you to join us for opportunities to learn together, to share what we have to offer one another and where we need support, and to find ways to make meaning of all we’re going through right now. Visit www.motherquest.com/community to join and I’d be honored to welcome you in.
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Lilli Rey
Anne Armstrong
Herve Clermont
Samantha Arsenault
Vickie Giambra
Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage
Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Samantha Arsenault
Attica Locke
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
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Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
In this episode, I’m honored to welcome back Paola Mendoza, along with the co-author of her new book Sanctuary, Abby Sher with an urgent conversation for this moment, just a month away from our next election.
Paola is an acclaimed film director, activist, author and artist working at the leading-edge of human rights all alongside being a devoted mother to her 7-year old son. A co-founder of The Women’s March, she served as its Artistic Director and co-authored the New York Times best seller Together We Rise: Behind the Scenes at the Protest Heard around the World.
Abby is an award-winning writer and performer and author of Miss You Love You Hate You Bye, All the Ways the World Can End, Breaking Free, Amen, Amen, Amen: Memoir of a Girl Who Couldn’t Stop Praying, and Kissing Snowflakes. Abby has written and/or performed for The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Second City, Upright Citizen’s Brigade, HBO and NPR and one of her essays was included in the first season of Amazon TV’s, Modern Love. Most importantly, she says, she is the mom to three very cool kiddos.
I first interviewed Paola after the Women’s March of 2016, personally still shell-shocked by the election of Trump and searching to find my own voice of resistance and path to activism. Since then, she has continued to be at the forefront of social change, especially when it comes to the issue of immigration, as she has organized, demonstrated, documented stories while travelling with the Caravan and now co-written a young adult novel that is both a cautionary tale and story of hope, Sanctuary.
Hope and faith run through this conversation I have with Paola and Abby just as it runs through the poignant book they co-created, a story that paints a harrowing picture of a dystopian future, an America in 2032 that microchips its citizens to easily identify and capture undocumented immigrants. It’s also a book that illuminates resilience, strength, and the power of love.
I hope you’ll listen with an open heart as Paola and Abby share about the teenage protagonist Vali who becomes a freedom fighter, the mother who sets Vali on her quest, how storytelling builds compassion and calls us to action, and how you and I can spread this story far and wide and organize for the upcoming election. In doing so, we can shape a hopeful future and help make possible freedom and sanctuary for undocumented immigrants like Vali, like the families whose stories Paola has documented, like the mothers in Matamoros, and like our own neighbors, who help our communities in essential ways.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by: Lilli Rey of Bay Area Border Relief
Lilli Rey is a community volunteer and human rights activist. She is a founder of Bay Area Border Relief, a San Francisco Bay Area grass roots humanitarian organization whose mission is to serve and advocate for children and families seeking their human right to asylum. She is also on the board of Protect Our Defenders and is a fundraiser for Congresswoman Jackie Speier. Lilli is the mother of 4 adult children and enjoys hiking, skiing, exercising, and traveling to new places.
Follow Lilli on Social Media:
- www.bayareaborderrelief.org
- For donations: bit.ly/BABRatPVF
- Twitter @BorderRelief
- Instagram @BorderProject
- Facebook Bay Area Border Relief
In This Episode We Talk About:
- The premise of Sanctuary that sets the protagonist, 16 year old Vali, on a journey for freedom to the sanctuary of California.
- The impact that Vali’s mother had in setting her on her quest and shaping who she is
- Thoughts for how we can inspire people to be informed and care about undocumented immigrants and those seeking asylum
- Why Abby and Paola made Sanctuary under the Young Adult novel genre and how it is a story for all of us
- The ways young people like Vali can lead the way
- Having conscious conversations with our kids about social justice issues in an age appropriate manner
- The importance of story to build compassion and understanding
- Paola and Abby’s hopes for Sanctuary’s impact
- MPP (Migrant Protection Protocol) and the devastating impact it has had on asylum seekers
- Why Paola and Abby insisted the book be released before the election and what they want us to do to get involved
- Paola and Abby’s experience collaborating on Sanctuary
- Approaching issues and activism with humility and Dr. Barbara’s Love’s Liberatory Consciousness Framework
- Lessons we can all learn from Sanctuary
- What’s next for Sanctuary…hopes for a sequel and a television series
This Episode’s Challenge:
For this episode’s challenge, Abby and Paola encourage us to:
- Get the book and read it
- Open our hearts as we do that
- Talk to our children about it and pass the book to them when appropriate
- Take that experience of how we are moved by it
- Share its impact
- Buy the book for others
- Donate the book to our libraries or request it be purchased
- Use this as a spark to reach out to people in our own networks and communities to better understand the immigration stories of those around us
Learn More About Abby Sher:
Abby Sher is an award-winning writer and performer. She is the author of Miss You Love You Hate You Bye, All the Ways the World Can End, Breaking Free, Amen, Amen, Amen: Memoir of a Girl Who Couldn’t Stop Praying, and Kissing Snowflakes. One of her essays was included in the first season of Amazon TV’s, Modern Love. Abby has written and/or performed for The New York Times, The New Yorker, The Second City, Upright Citizen’s Brigade, HBO and NPR. Most importantly she’s the mom to three very cool kiddos.
Follow Abby on Social Media:
Learn More About Paola Mendoza:
Paola Mendoza is a film director, activist, author and artist working at the leading-edge of human rights. A co-founder of The Women’s March, she served as its Artistic Director and co-authored the New York Times best seller Together We Rise: Behind the Scenes at the Protest Heard around the World. Paola’s most recent book Sanctuary was released by Penguin in 2020.
Paola is also a critically acclaimed film director whose films have premiered at the most prestigious film festivals around the world. Her films have thoughtfully tackled the complex issues of poverty and immigration on women and children in the United States. She was named Glamour’s Woman of the Year in 2017 and one of Filmmaker Magazine’s 25 New Faces of Independent Film. She is a co-founder of The Soze Agency and is a co-founder of The Resistance Revival Chorus, the critically acclaimed women’s chorus that believes, “Joy is an act of resistance.
Follow Paola on Social Media:
Resources Mentioned:
- Order your copy of Abbey & Paola’s book here!
- Ep 16: Rising Up with Paola Mendoza
- Ep 07: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten
- Ep 72: Seeking Asylum is a Human Right with Bay Area Border Relief’s Belinda Arriaga
- Let’s Renew Our Commitment to Racial Justice This High Holiday Season (Kveller article by Julie Neale)
- Dr. Barbara Love’s Liberatory Framework
- The interview led by America Ferrera when the book launched
Announcements:
Let’s Renew Our Commitment to Racial Justice This High Holiday Season
I published my first piece on a topic so important. Would love for you to share with anyone you think would be open to listening and learning from these lessons/conversations highlighted.
If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!
Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here:
How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad
On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple’s Podcast app.
Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen.
Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. …
Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.
At the time I’m releasing this episode, during the COVID-19 global pandemic, so many of us are seeking ways to connect with one another, even while needing to stay physically apart. If you identify with being a mother on a quest and you’re not yet a member of the free private Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, I invite you to join us for opportunities to learn together, to share what we have to offer one another and where we need support, and to find ways to make meaning of all we’re going through right now. Visit www.motherquest.com/community to join and I’d be honored to welcome you in.
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Lilli Rey
Anne Armstrong
Herve Clermont
Samantha Arsenault
Vickie Giambra
Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage
Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Samantha Arsenault
Attica Locke
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
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Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
It was many months ago, as the whole world was first shutting down and sheltering in place, that I sat down to a conversation with leadership coach and strategic parenting expert Heather Chauvin. As Back to School unfolds now with unique challenges for so many of us, I wanted to bring this episode to you, filled with wisdom that can help light our way...based on a question Heather asks herself…”How Good Can This Get?”
Heather Chauvin is the creator of the Mom Is In Control Podcast, a mostly solo show where she tells it like it is. She reveals her most vulnerable truths about womanhood, parenting her 3 boys, living through stage 4 cancer, navigating marriage and creating business success without burning out.
Featured on The Huffington Post, The OWN Network, CTV, Real Simple Magazine, and more, Heather draws on her experience as a former Social Worker, health advocate and inspirational speaker, giving women permission to live more, drop the guilt and ask for what they need.
It was actually a question posed to me by a friend and amazing soul Megan Baker, who was at the time battling cancer, about how we can still strive to live our E.P.I.C. life in the face of health challenges, that prompted me to interview Heather.
Sadly, Megan passed away in May. And though the episode didn’t come out in time to support her, I’m certain her courageous question and the thoughtful insights from Heather that came as a result, will help so many of us to be more present with what is and learn to receive support, as well as give, when things start to spin out of control.
As we move into Back to School in a way we never have before, I hope you’ll join me taking Heather’s challenge to ask for what we need, even if it’s uncomfortable, as we face the unknown and explore the question in our own lives “How Good Can It Get?”
Much appreciation,
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by: Anne Armstrong of My Gnome on the Roam
Anne is a mother, middle school teacher and out-of-the-box thinker from Nashville, Tennessee. She holds a Master’s and Ed. Specialist degree in gifted education.
She takes an energetic, innovative approach to teaching and has an insatiable curiosity about other people and places. That’s why her middle school students call her the Field Trip Queen.
Now a published children’s author, Anne tries to live by a phrase coined by some of her brilliant students and borrowed with their permission: “Make your life a book worth reading.”
She also is the creator of My Gnome on the Roam, a brand of toys and tools designed to help busy families build adventures into their busy days.
Anne invites you to a free 5-day homeschool challenge and get your kids (and yourself) excited about the year! Click here 👉 Gn-Home School Challenge to know more!
We’ll be sharing things like:
✅ daily adventures (from our app)
✅ our award winning My Gnome on the Roam Adventure and Creativity Kit
✅ ideas for turning adventures into teachable moments
✅ virtual field trips
✅ workshops with teachers, tutors, mind masters, artists.....
✅ a community of like minded parents and kids who have decided to make the most out of this unprecedented time.
✅ a certified teacher at your fingertips for the entire school year
The program has been recommended by Dr Shefali Tsabery, Oprah’s parenting expert as well as Dan Heath, NY Times best selling author of “The Power of Moments”.
Also make sure to check and join their exclusive Facebook group, My Gnome On The Roam Adventurers Club, designed for families who want to create some educational magic this school year!
Follow Anne on Social Media:
Facebook
Instagram
Pinterest
Twitter
YouTube
In This Episode We Talk About:
- The lessons that Heather learned from her own battle, six years ago, with stage four cancer
- Heather’s question for 2020 “How Good Can This Get?” and the ways that has become a useful inquiry during the pandemic
- Heather’s quest to not become a statistic when she became a mother at the age of 18 and instead how motherhood inspired her to become the best version of herself
- Engaging mindfully and being present for what is
- How your children’s behavior is speaking to you
- What it means to be driven by impact and not money
- How learning how to receive, along with how to give, is where the magic unfolds
- Having a commitment and conviction to follow through with what you want and who you say you want to be
- How Heather is committed to structure, inquiry, and practices in her life but also lets go of a sense of failure when it doesn't go exactly right
This Episode's Challenge:
For this episode’s challenge, Heather encourages us to ask ourselves, “what it is you know to be true that you need to implement into your life that maybe makes you feel guilty or afraid or uncomfortable?”
And within the next 24 to 48 hours to take that action, whether through using your voice and saying “I need to go for a walk” or “I'm going to take a bath” or just creating space for yourself in the world. Heather invites us to sign up for that email, that course, or just something that makes you uncomfortable.
“Begin to take a stand for how you want to feel in your life because that's the first step in creating that epic life!”
Learn More About Heather Chauvin
Heather Chauvin has been named the next generation’s thought leader in parenting and women’s leadership. Her mission is to crack women open to their deepest potential and lead the life their soul craves. She reaches thousands of readers worldwide and leads innovative retreats and coaching programs that teach women to succeed in their most sacred work in parenting and business. Heather’s the creator of the New & Noteworthy Podcast, Mom Is In Control and has been featured on the OWN network, Huffington Post, TV outlets and others.
Through her Courageous Rewrite Initiative, Heather has given voice to many humans who have courageously taken inspired action towards creating a life they’re proud of. With wit and wisdom, Heather inspires a global community of women to take back control of how they want to lead, work, play and parent.
Follow Heather on Social Media
Resources Mentioned:
Announcements:
Do you dream of writing a book? 💫📚What if it could be easy?
From the time that I was young, I had this whisper about becoming an author. I have always “written” my whole life, but have not yet taken the leap to be a published author.
As my 49th birthday approaches (this December 1!) and I think about all I’m still on a quest for, the whispers and the call to become an author are going from a still small voice to a loud roar.
I’ve so admired Alexandra Franzen and recently discovered @lindseysmithhhc who has co-created the Tiny Book course.
In 45 days, in community with other aspiring writers, with supportive coaches alongside including live calls, you go from idea to done!
I’m giving myself an early birthday present...much like I did before my 45th birthday when I launched the podcast. And saying “yes” to this dream.
Have you had a voice calling you to write and publish? Ready to listen to that voice? Join me in the Tiny Book course!
As an affiliate for the course...for every mother from the Mother’s Quest Community who says “yes” to this call...MQ will get a small bonus, $ that will support more inspiration, more coaching and more community connection to help us live our E.P.I.C. lives.
I’ll also facilitate a special Reflection Circle for all who participate when we launch and when we end to help us make meaning of our journey.
Who’s in? Link here 👉 https://www.tinybookcourse.com to learn more and sign up.
Make sure to let Alex and Lindsey know I sent you!
WHAT IS A TINY BOOK YOU MAY ASK?
Registration in the Tiny Book Course incluses:
☑ Checklists and Templates - to simplify the process
☑ Step-By-Step Tutorial Videos - showing you every step you need to take
☑ Incredible Customer Service - your very own book coach to answer any questions you have by email
☑ Expert Guidance - from professionals who know the ins and outs of the self-publishing world
☑ 4 Live Group Calls - Interactive check-ins to make sure you're feeling good, getting things done, and moving toward the finish line
☑ Online Community Forum - to connect with your instructors and fellow authors
☑ Success - pretty much guaranteed. Alexandra and Lindsey have a very strong track record of success. They help people become finishers.
Special Coaching Invitation for Mindful Mothers 
Before the summer ends...are you on a quest for personal clarity and connection so you can start the academic year well?
The secret to starting well is to end well
One of the biggest lessons I've learned on my parenting and life journey is that if we want to set our children up for successful new beginnings, we need to do the reflective work ourselves to close the last chapter and begin anew.COVID-19 and distance learning upended all of our lives and made it very challenging to end the school year well. But, in the midst of the difficulties, we also found new ways of being and deep resilience.There is wisdom and lessons learned to mine for that can help shine a light on what to do next. And when we create space for reflection and invest in ourselves, we open up possibilities and a blueprint to help our children do the same.Interested in getting support to close COVID, life and distance learning 1.0 before beginning again?
With me as your guide?
In August, I'm launching a special Back to School Coaching Special that combines my signature "Virtual Milestone Hike" experience in a one-on-one 90-minute coaching session along with the opportunity to be in "Circle" with other reflective mothers to share what we uncover together on these Virtual Hikes.
Details Here:
Here's what it will include:
1 90 minute one-on-one coaching session with me via Zoom using my signature Milestone Hike Reflection process. We won't be on a real hike, but it's the next best thing...slides/photos and all!
A 1.5 hr. Reflection Circle with the other mothers who have been through the same Virtual Hike experience where we can share together the insights that came up & make commitment statements for how we want to move forward into the fall.
Cost: $270 (please reach out if a scholarship is needed)
Spots Avail: Only Six to keep our Circle Intimate
Timeframe: One-on-One Sessions early August.
Circle date TBA working with the schedule of the six who sign up.If this calls to you, I encourage you to sign up quickly. I have space to take on six participants! Sign up here & link in bio: www.mothersquest.com/backtoschool
Season Five of the Mother’s Podcast is Under Way! - Help us Spread the Word
If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!
Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here:
How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad
- On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple's Podcast app.
- Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen.
- Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. ...
- Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Herve Clermont
Samantha Arsenault
Vickie Giambra
Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage
Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Samantha Arsenault
Attica Locke
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
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Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
In this “Bite-Sized Reflection from Living my E.P.I.C. Life” Minisode I Talk About:
- How/when I learned about the importance of ending well to begin well at the youth development organization Alternatives in Action
- The transformative Milestone Hike Experience I had on my 40th birthday
- How I've used the same components of that hike to acknowledge milestones with my son Ryan (we even recorded a podcast episode about one on his 13th birthday!) including Back to School Milestone Hikes
- The ways I have taken that experience to create signature Mother's Quest opportunities for reflection
- The Back to School Milestone Hike and Reflection Circle I’m offering if you’d like support packing up your lessons from the last chapter before starting a new school year
Hope this supports you or a mother preparing for Back to School in your life!
Also, I’d love to hear from YOU: What are your Back to School Rituals that help you start the year well? Please join us in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group to share or email me at julie@mothersquest.com
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Forward this along to a mother in your life.
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Listen to my episode with Ryan that we recorded after our Milestone Hike on his 13th birthday. He has grown and changed so much since then. I'm so glad we have this almost like a time capsule of that period in his life.
If you’d like to go on a reflective milestone hike (virtually!) with me by your side, I have three spaces left for this Back to School Circle and one-on-one coaching experience. You can sign up here: www.mothersquest.com/backtoschool
You can sign up for the replay of the Spark Your E.P.I.C if you'd like to follow along on a Virtual Milestone Hike yourself. Workshop replay and Worksheet here: https://mailchi.mp/mothersquest.com/sparkyourepicyear
I’m excited to share this beautiful conversation with Tembi Locke, that centers around the wisdom of our matriarchs and the seeds they plant within us to pursue our journeys, to create space for resilience, love, and creativity, and to invest in ourselves so we can serve the collective good.
Tembi is a distinguished keynote speaker, writer, advocate, and American actor with more than sixty TV and film credits including the global hit Netflix series, Never Have I Ever. She is also the author of the New York Times bestselling book, From Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home … A Reese’s Book Club pick and soon to be Netflix series, starring Zoe Saldana.
This episode’s dedication comes from Tembi’s sister, acclaimed author and writer and producer of many powerful series for television, including Little Fires Everywhere and When They See Us, Attica Locke. Attica dedicates the episode to her mother, to her matrilineal ancestors, and to her sister Tembi...all who have been as she says, “visionaries of love in her life.”
The legacy of love and vision is a thread that weaves throughout my conversation with Tembi, as she names and shares about the four generations of women in her family, who she can trace back to the time of reconstruction after chattel slavery, and whose lessons help her navigate today’s world. We explore how her family’s ecosystem enabled her to invest in her dreams, nurture creativity and play, and pursue her creative endeavors and also how she carries that forward in how she mothers her daughter Zoela.
Though we covered a lot of territory together, we realized there was so much more we wanted to discuss, including what it is like to star in her latest hit show Never Have I Ever, so Tembi has agreed to a special Mother’s Quest Q & A via zoom that we will schedule in September. Make sure to join the Mother’s Quest email list at www.mothersquest.com or the Facebook Group for details if you want to join us!
I felt like this whole conversation was inspiration to light the way during these pandemic times, with profound moments that filled me with clarity and faith in the future. I hope this conversation helps remind you, as it did me and Tembi, of the power of our matriarchs, of sharing our experiences, of learning from and guiding each other, and seeking that sanctuary within so that we can serve a higher good.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by: Attica Locke
Attica Locke’s latest novel Heaven, My Home, sequel to the Edgar Award-winning Bluebird, Bluebird was published in September 2019. Her novel Pleasantville was the winner of the Harper Lee Prize for Legal Fiction and was also long-listed for the Bailey’s Prize for Women’s Fiction. The Cutting Season was the winner of the Ernest Gaines Award for Literary Excellence.
Her first novel Black Water Rising was nominated for an Edgar Award, an NAACP Image Award, as well as a Los Angeles Times Book Prize, and was short-listed for the Women’s Prize for Fiction. A former fellow at the Sundance Institute’s Feature Filmmaker’s Lab, Locke works as a screenwriter as well.
She was a writer and producer on the Fox series, Empire, and most recently, she was a writer and producer on Emmy-winning Netflix series When They See Us and the Hulu adaptation of Little Fires Everywhere. She is currently writing and producing a limited series adaptation of her sister Tembi Locke’s memoir From Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home for Netflix. A native of Houston, Texas, Attica lives in Los Angeles, California, with her husband and daughter
Connect with Attica:
Attica Locke Website
Twitter @atticalocke
Instagram @atticalocke
Facebook
In This Episode We Talk About:
- How Tembi and I met, finding unexpected common connections, and how those kind of experiences are one of the gifts of writing FROM SCRATCH
- Lessons from four generations seeded within Tembi that are helping her navigate the present
- What’s required now in the midst of the pandemic: turning away from individualism to serve the greater good
- Tembi’s epic life pursuits, what that has to do with the Lord of the Rings, and what we’ve both learned about the path of the hero’s journey
- How Tembi’s parents and grandmother created space for her and her siblings to play and develop their creativity and how we can do the same for our children.
- In “Quarantinelandia” Tembi’s way of tuning into herself now
- Listening actively and speaking less in motherhood
- How Tembi has created circles of sisterhood and how her own sister is helping her turn her memoir into a Netflix series
- The importance of slowing down, becoming present with ourselves, and creating a “Sanctuary Within”
- Tembi’s reflections on the Sicilian proverb “Hunger is the Best Sauce” and how hunger and desire can be its own reward
- How we can be each other’s guides
This Episode's Challenge:
For those of us who are in a place where we are well, have food, shelter, and are healthy, Tembi encourages us to slow down, tune into ourselves, and find that sanctuary within so that we can be a guide to others and serve the greater good.
Learn More About Tembi Locke
A distinguished keynote speaker, Tembi is an American actor with more than sixty TV and film credits including the global hit Netflix series, Never Have I Ever. She is also the author of New York Times bestselling memoir, From Scratch… A Reese’s Book Club that will become a Netflix series starring Zoe Saldana.
Tembi started her onscreen career with the iconic comedy, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Currently, she can be found in roles on The Magicians, Proven Innocent, NCIS: LA, and EUReKA to name a few. She discovered her love of the written word at a very young age, writing short stories, journaling, and taking writing classes to grow her skills.
After the loss of her husband, Saro, Tembi’s writing took on a completely new meaning. She began putting together the outline of what would eventually become her memoir, From Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home. Today, Tembi works as an advocate and speaks on topics such as loss, resilience, and connection. Together with her daughter Zoela, Tembi enjoys cooking, connecting, and traveling to Sicily to take in the gorgeous Mediterranean landscape and eat ridiculous amounts of gelato.
Follow Tembi on Social Media
Resources Mentioned:
Additional Resource for this episode:
- The New York Times - What Do Reese Witherspoon, Florence Welch and Andrew Luck Have in Common?
- What Forty Steps Taught Me About Love and Grief|Tembi Locke|TEDxPasadenaWomen
Announcements:
Special Coaching Invitation for Mindful Mothers
Before the summer ends...are you on a quest for personal clarity and connection so you can start the academic year well?
The secret to starting well is to end well
One of the biggest lessons I've learned on my parenting and life journey is that if we want to set our children up for successful new beginnings, we need to do the reflective work ourselves to close the last chapter and begin anew.COVID-19 and distance learning upended all of our lives and made it very challenging to end the school year well. But, in the midst of the difficulties, we also found new ways of being and deep resilience.There is wisdom and lessons learned to mine for that can help shine a light on what to do next. And when we create space for reflection and invest in ourselves, we open up possibilities and a blueprint to help our children do the same.Interested in getting support to close COVID, life and distance learning 1.0 before beginning again?
With me as your guide?
In August, I'm launching a special Back to School Coaching Special that combines my signature "Virtual Milestone Hike" experience in a one-on-one 90-minute coaching session along with the opportunity to be in "Circle" with other reflective mothers to share what we uncover together on these Virtual Hikes.
Details Here:
Here's what it will include:
1 90 minute one-on-one coaching session with me via Zoom using my signature Milestone Hike Reflection process. We won't be on a real hike, but it's the next best thing...slides/photos and all!
A 1.5 hr. Reflection Circle with the other mothers who have been through the same Virtual Hike experience where we can share together the insights that came up & make commitment statements for how we want to move forward into the fall.
Cost: $270 (please reach out if a scholarship is needed)
Spots Avail: Only Six to keep our Circle Intimate
Timeframe: One-on-One Sessions early August.
Circle date TBA working with the schedule of the six who sign up.If this calls to you, I encourage you to sign up quickly. I have space to take on six participants! Sign up here & link in bio: www.mothersquest.com/backtoschool
Season Five of the Mother’s Podcast is Under Way! - Help us Spread the Word
If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!
Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here:
How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad
- On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple's Podcast app.
- Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen.
- Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. ...
- Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Herve Clermont
Samantha Arsenault
Vickie Giambra
Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage
Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Samantha Arsenault
Attica Locke
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
---
Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
A few weeks ago, I had the honor of recording a powerful episode with the co-host of the While Black Podcast, Darius Hicks. In addition to releasing that conversation here, Darius shared it on the While Black Podcast feed and since then, over 10,000 people have tuned in. If you haven’t heard it yet, I encourage you to add it to the top of your playlist.
As an exchange, I asked Darius if I could share an episode from the While Black Podcast with the Mother’s Quest community. When he said yes, I knew which episode I wanted to share...in fact it was the one that inspired me to invite Darius on. Recorded after the lynching of Ahmaud Arbery, it features the reflections of four successful and driven Black men speaking honestly about how they were doing in the aftermath. They get candid about their mortality, their ability to trust this country, and what they would tell white america given complete access.
In the last 7 minutes of my conversation with Darius, 7 minutes I truly think every American citizen should listen to, he tells us about the thoughts and emotions he has experienced as a Black man before and after the death of George Floyd. He reveals his fear that the solidarity and push for change may subside. By listening to this episode, I hope your understanding will expand a little more and that you will stay committed to listening and to advocating, to help ensure that Darius’ worst fear does not come true, that the last few weeks are not merely a moment in time but truly a movement for Black Lives. So here it is, While Black on the Mother’s Quest Podcast titled “Ahmaud Arbery Is All of Us - Can I Live?”
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
Show Notes from While Black Podcast
The lynching of Ahmaud Arbery is taking its mental toll on black america and specifically black men. On this episode you hear from 4 successful and driven black men speaking honestly about how they are doing today. They get candid about their mortality, their ability to trust this country, and what they would tell white america given complete access.
We are in mental distress and while we are strong, capable, and intelligent we also need help so that TOGETHER we can correct the wrongs in this system....or perhaps replace the system itself.
Please share this important episode and make sure to check on the black men in your life....We are not ok!
Don't forget to get social with While Black
IG: WHILE_BLACK; TWITTER @whileblackpc; FB @whileblackpodcast or email: whileblackpodcast@gmail.com
Follow While Black on Social Media
- Facebook: @whileblackpodcast
-
Instagram: @while_black
- Twitter: @Whileblackpc
Podcasters for Justice Recommended Efforts for Contribution:
- Black Visions Collective
- Campaign Zero
- Black Lives Matter
- Minneapolis NAACP Branch
- Sign-up at Color of Change to be notified of more opportunities to take action
Mother's Quest also encourages you to consider:
Announcements:
Join us in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group
At the time I’m releasing this episode, during the COVID-19 global pandemic, so many of us are seeking ways to connect with one another, even while needing to stay physically apart. If you identify with being a mother on a quest and you’re not yet a member of the free private Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, I invite you to join us for opportunities to learn together, to share what we have to offer one another and where we need support, and to find ways to make meaning of all we’re going through right now. Visit www.motherquest.com/community to join and I’d be honored to welcome you in.
Season Five of the Mother’s Podcast is Under Way! - Help us Spread the Word
If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!
Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here:
How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad
- On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple's Podcast app.
- Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen.
- Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. ...
- Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Herve Clermont
Samantha Arsenault
Vickie Giambra
Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage
Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Samantha Arsenault
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
---
Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
I’m honored to share this special Father’s Day Episode with a devoted father, successful entrepreneur and fellow podcaster who has become a friend, Darius Hicks.
Known as “Vince” on the acclaimed While Black Podcast, Darius channels his rage at the injustices Black people experience in our country by focusing it on empowering, educating, and inspiring African Americans to go and grow. While Black tells stories by, from, and for African Americans and pairs those stories with expert and credible guests who can communicate wisdom and success strategies to help the Black listeners achieve, accomplish, and overcome.
In this conversation, Darius had me riveted, inspired and often in tears as we explored his epic life quest, his transformative moments as a father, how his work through While Black is meeting this moment and movement in our country, and the unique role that mothers, fathers and our younger generation all have to play in making change.
To honor this episode, I want to share a statement of shared commitment from an effort called Podcasters for Justice that aligns with so much of the messages Darius and I explore here together:
“We are podcasters united to condemn the tragic murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor and many many others at the hands of police. This is a continuation of the systemic racism pervasive in our country since its inception and we are committed to standing against racism in all its forms.
We believe that to be silent is to be complicit.
We believe that Black lives matter.
We believe that Black lives are more important than property.
We believe that we have a responsibility to use our platforms to speak out against this injustice whenever and wherever we are witness to it.
In creating digital media we have built audiences that return week after week to hear our voices and we will use our voices to speak against anti-blackness and police brutality.”
I invite you to join me in donating to one of the efforts that Podcasters for Justice identified which you can find below in the show notes, to listen to and amplify this episode with Darius, and to follow each of Darius' powerful calls to action, stepping into kinetic partnership that will move us forward and help us all get free, together.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by: Herve Clermont
Herve Clermont is an actor, voice over artist, Host, and was a National brand ambassador for Remy Martin for over 8 years. He discovered his passion for acting at Georgetown University, where he was in school as a pre-med major, and needed to fulfill electives.
He is the son of a proud Haitian Doctor and nurse, he always joked he “could play one.” He began his professional acting career in 2000 with a contract Role on One Life To Live, and has co-starred and guest starred on various prime time shows: Law & Order, CSI Miami, Cane, 24, Criminal Minds, Scandal, Guys with Kids, New Girl, The Mick, NCIS, NCIS LA, Dice, Veronica Mars, Mr Iglesias, and many others.
Herve has been recurring on John Singleton’s Snowfall the last 3 seasons, before landing a series cast member on Tyler Perry’s Ruthless. His voice-over career includes announcing at celebrity fund-raisers, branding and promotional videos, industrials and promotional TV and radio commercials, including ones for Beyonce, an international Jazz festival, and currently is the voice behind Cintas and on camera.
Herve’s hosting experience includes live events with BMW, VH-l, Harmon/ Kardon and Remy Martin. He has also worked on a pilot in front of the camera as a Studio host in the entertainment industry, interviewing celebrities and keeping the audience up-to-date with the latest entertainment news.
Visit The J.E. Clermont Foundation Hope for the Children of Haiti for more about the Foundation that furthers Herve’s father’s legacy
Instagram @Plantinghopela - to learn about Herve’s wife’s venture that creates beautiful plants with contributions supporting the Foundation in Haiti and charitable efforts in LA.
Connect with Herve:
In This Episode We Talk About:
- The universal language and common connection among mothers of all races and how Darius and I both believe mothers will be critical to making change
- Darius' quest to be authentically who he is as a 6'4, 300-pound dark-skinned Black man. How he has struggled to stand tall and shine while also consciously shrinking because people's first reaction to him is fear
- The question about fatherhood Darius asks himself all the time..."How do I raise fearless children when I am a fearful parent?”
- A heartbreaking but powerful "epic snapshot moment" with his son that made Darius realize his words were getting through to him and that his son would be part of making change
- How those committed to anti-racism and new to this can begin and the reason why Darius seeks “partnership” over saviorism or "help"
- The three-fold challenge Darius gave us, including the specific movies that Darius thinks we should all watch to shift our understanding and perspective
- How we all need each other to get free
This Week's Challenge:
Darius gave us a threefold challenge:
1) There is bias inside all of us. We all have it. Try our very best to recognize when our unconscious bias fires. Try to pay attention every time we see or meet a Black person...if our initial intent is to walk in the other direction, stop for a moment and ask yourself why?
2) Meet someone new and be the first one to say hello and to really see the humanity in them.
3) Be more intentional in our actions and in whatever media we digest so that we are aware of what’s really happening and what others are really going through. Specifically, watch the movies American Son, 13th, and When They See Us (all linked below.)
Learn More About Darius Hicks
Darius has always displayed an entrepreneurial and activist spirit. Since his youth he has dedicated his time to those around him in hopes of bettering them while he better himself. It began by volunteering as a camp counselor from middle school through high school, and grew via mentorship and tutoring in college all the way to his membership role in the 100 Black Men and as an advocate for African Americans through his work on the While Black Podcast. Vince believes wholeheartedly the James Baldwin quote “To be Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be a rage almost all the time”. However, he chooses to channel that rage into a place that allows him to change the narrative on black folks while he helps to empower those same black folks.
Earning his undergraduate degree in Civil Engineering from Southern University A&M in Baton Rouge LA (1999) and his MBA from Queens University in Charlotte NC (2005), Vince has gained valuable experience in multiple industries.
He has excelled in multiple industries and enjoyed a career spanning 20+ years with opportunities in Engineering, Consumer packaged goods, Corporate retail giants, and now the Social/tech industry.
In addition, he is a successful entrepreneur and founder of Aveo Big and Tall Golf Apparel which rose to become the #1 big and tall golf apparel offering in Golfsmith stores and was distributed nationally and internationally via various outlets including but not limited to Dicks Sporting Good, GolfSmith, and Golf Galaxy. He has since sold the rights to the Aveo name and divested from the company.
However, he has altered his focus by aligning his passions with his promise and ensuring his time is invested accordingly as he focuses on improving the black world and the global community through and with black people. His latest endeavor is laser focused on impacting and improving the people around him. Specifically, he is the creator and co-host of the While Black Podcast a podcast focused on empowering, educating, and inspiring African Americans to go and grow. While Black tells stories by, from, and for African Americans and pairs those stories with expert and credible guests who can communicate wisdom and success strategies helping us to achieve, accomplish, and overcome.
Follow While Black on Social Media
- Facebook: @whileblackpodcast
-
Instagram: @while_black
- Twitter: @Whileblackpc
Resources Mentioned:
- While Black Podcast
- Ahmaud Arbery Is All of Us - Can I Live?
- American Son|Netflix
- When They See Us|Netflix
- 13TH|Netflix
- Ep 07: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten
- Revisited: Beyond the Trauma: Legacy, Compassion and Change with Mothers Against Police Brutality Co-Founder Sara Mokuria
- Ep 55: From Grief to Advocacy and a Circle of Mothers with Trayvon Martin’s Mother Sybrina Fulton
- Desiree Adaway and Diversity is an Asset
- Podcast Movement
Podcasters for Justice Recommended Efforts for Contribution:
- Black Visions Collective
- Campaign Zero
- Black Lives Matter
- Minneapolis NAACP Branch
- Sign-up at Color of Change to be notified of more opportunities to take action
Mother's Quest also encourages you to consider:
Announcements:
Join us in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group
At the time I’m releasing this episode, during the COVID-19 global pandemic, so many of us are seeking ways to connect with one another, even while needing to stay physically apart. If you identify with being a mother on a quest and you’re not yet a member of the free private Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, I invite you to join us for opportunities to learn together, to share what we have to offer one another and where we need support, and to find ways to make meaning of all we’re going through right now. Visit www.motherquest.com/community to join and I’d be honored to welcome you in.
Season Five of the Mother’s Podcast is Under Way! - Help us Spread the Word
If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!
Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here:
How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad
- On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple's Podcast app.
- Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen.
- Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. ...
- Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Herve Clermont
Samantha Arsenault
Vickie Giambra
Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage
Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Samantha Arsenault
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
---
Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
I’m honored to bring this special episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast to you with mother, activist, writer, co-founder of the Trayvon Martin Foundation and an inspiration to so many, Sybrina Fulton.
The episode is the last in a series I’ve recorded for the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative on the subject of gun safety and the intersectional impact of gun violence on our communities.
Unfortunately, Sybrina deeply knows the grief that comes in the wake of gun violence. But, after the deadly 2012 shooting of her beloved son, Trayvon Benjamin Martin, she felt compelled to rise up, literally pushing herself to get out of her bed, becoming the voice for her son and embarking on a journey to bring awareness to senseless gun violence and racial profiling.
In 2016, Sybrina rallied to the forefront at the Democratic National Convention with a group of African American trailblazing women, connected by tragedy, who became known as “Mothers of the Movement” for the “Black Lives Matter” Movement the death of their children sparked.
She didn’t stop there. In 2017, Sybrina co-authored her first book, Rest in Power, The Enduring Life of Trayvon Martin, a memoir recounting the death of her son, which became the subject of a docu-series that debuted this year, Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story, produced by hip-hop mogul Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter.
This intimate conversation, over a year in the making, was a unique opportunity to delve into Sybrina’s own journey, how the E.P.I.C. guideposts show up in her life and in her activism, and to hear her powerful call to action to invest in mothers, by reaching out to mothers grieving in our own communities and by contributing to her “Circle of Mothers,” a labor of love that came to her in her dreams.
I’m grateful to activist Michael Skolnik, who dedicated this episode, for connecting me to Sybrina and for inviting us to spread this conversation far and wide and direct resources to help mothers turn their grief into healing and advocacy, following Sybrina’s powerful example.
It costs $1500 to sponsor a grieving mother to attend Circle of Mothers. Michael and I have each pledged the first $3,000 to a GoFundMe campaign, each of us contributing $1500 to help a mother who otherwise wouldn’t be able to attend.
Much appreciation,
Julie Neale
P.S. Know someone who you think would appreciate this special episode? Share this conversation!
This Episode is Dedicated by:
Michael Skolnik
Michael Skolnik was recently profiled in the NY Times and identified as “the man you go to if you want to leverage the power of celebrity and the reach of digital media to soften the ground for social change.” But, besides all of that, he is most proud to be the father of Mateo Ali, a rambunctious five year old.
He is the co-founder and partner of The Soze Agency, a social impact agency that partners with companies, non-profits, foundations and movements to create campaigns that uplift compassion, authenticity and equity.
He is a respected leader in the new social justice movement, and has helped ignite conversations around America’s relationship with race, the deaths of Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown and Eric Garner, and the Obama and Trump presidencies.
He is a prolific voice on social media with more than 350,000 followers, and a regular commentator on outlets such as CNN, MSNBC and Fox News.
Michael serves on the Board of Directors for Rock The Vote, The Trayvon Martin Foundation, Policy Link, The Gathering For Justice and The Young Partners Board of The Public Theater.
Facebook
Instagram
LinkedIn
Twitter
The Soze Agency
Learn more about Michael Skolnik: https://about.me/michaelskolnik
In This Episode We Talk About:
- What Sybrina wishes everyone would know about approaching a conversation with a mother who has lost a child.
- My 14 year old son’s question to Sybrina about what it feels like when your calling and the powerful work you’re doing is sparked by a tremendous loss.
- Why we need systemic and cultural change, and more awareness-raising conversations, to keep young people of color safe from racial profiling.
- The tragic death of Chinedu Okobi, an unarmed young black man who was tasered to death by San Mateo County deputies, just 20 minutes from my own home.
- The importance for grieving mothers to remember the things that they used to love and what Sybrina’s joyful outlet is
- The Circle of Mothers and how the idea to create it came to Sybrina in a dream.
- Sybrina’s challenge for all of us to open our hearts and to reach out to mothers, across differences, who have lost their child to let them know we care.
- Why investing in mothers is the most powerful lever to impact gun control.
Resources and Topics Mentioned:
- Trayvon Martin Foundation
- Circle of Mothers
- Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story
- Rest in Power: The Enduring Life of Trayvon Martin
- Remembrance Weekend: Peace Walk on February 9th followed by the Remembrance Gala on February 10th
- Article from CNN about Chinedu Okobi – Facebook executive says unreleased video calls into question police account of brother’s death
- GoFundMe for Circle of Mothers
- Women Podcasters in Solidarity website
Other Mother’s Quest Episodes in This Series on Gun Safety:
- Ep 37: Generations Rising for Gun Safety with Gloria Pan
- Ep 54: Superheroes, Fighting Patriarchy, and Courageously Defeating Gun Violence with Ladd Everitt
And in Last Year’s Series on Anti-Racism and Police Accountability:
- Ep 27: Courageous Conversations about Race with Nicole Lee
- EP31: Brave Spaces and Solidarity with “Rad Women” Author Kate Schatz
- EP33: Beyond the Trauma: Legacy, Compassion and Change with Mothers Against Police Brutality Co-Founder Sara Mokuria
This Week’s Challenge:
For this week’s challenge, Sybrina asks us to reach out to a mother who has lost a child and be a support to them. Take them out, let them know you are here, organize something for a group. Let them know that they are not alone.
Learn More About Sybrina Fulton:
After the death of her beloved son, Trayvon Benjamin Martin, in February 2012, Sybrina Fulton was charged with a new mission. A desire to transform family tragedy into social change allowed her to establish the Trayvon Martin Foundation in March 2012.
As Fulton traverses the globe, she passionately embarks on a journey designed to bring awareness to senseless gun violence and serves as an advocate to families, the catalyst for her dream project, the “Circle of Mothers.” Winning the national support of president-elect Hillary Clinton, Fulton rallied to the forefront in 2016 at the Democratic National Convention with a cadre of African American trailblazing women known as “Mothers of the Movement.” The women, connected by tragedy, are the inspiration behind the “Black Lives Matter.”
In 2017, Fulton co-authored her first book, Rest in Power, The Enduring Life of Trayvon Martin, a memoir recounting the death of her son, and the subject of a six-part docuseries, Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story, produced by hip-hop mogul Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter for Paramount Network and BET (July 2018).
Bestowed with many distinguished awards, Sybrina Fulton has represented the United States at the United Nations in Geneva, Switzerland, to discuss racial discrimination; the National Urban League, Black Lives Matter, Rainbow PUSH Coalition, The Triumph Awards (2016), Essence Festival & Conference (2017, 2018), and was selected as the White House’s guest of honor for the unveiling of former President Barak Obama’s initiative, “My Brother’s Keeper.” Fulton is also one of the 2018 recipients of VH1’s Trailblazer Honor Award.
A Miami native and graduate of Florida Memorial University, Sybrina Fulton, along with her son, Jahvaris, are on a mission to build better, safer communities. She is a proud member of the Miami Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. and the Metropolitan Dade County Section of the National Council of Negro Women, Inc.
She created the Circle of Mothers as a way to empower women. The purpose of the Circle of Mothers is to bring together mothers who have lost children or family members to senseless gun violence for the purpose of healing, empowerment, and fellowship towards the larger aim of community building.
Connect with Sybrina at: Facebook Twitter Instagram
www.circleofmothers.org
www.trayvonmartinfoundation.org
I wanted to bring this encore conversation with Mothers Against Police Brutality’s Sara Mokuria in a week where so many of us have been grappling with the issue of police violence and what we can do about it.
I know many of us have been searching for some action we can take about this issue and I want to encourage you to listen to this conversation with Sara Mokuria, one of the co-founders of Mothers Against Police Brutality. She will give you insight and advocacy steps from her own experience losing her father. And then, make a donation to Mothers Against Police Brutality, an organization that is seeking change by addressing policy and building police accountability, beginning in Texas but with nationwide impact.
As you listen, I hope you’ll consider making a donation as well and I also challenge you to identify just one person who you can share this episode and this call to action with; together we can start to take steps in the direction of police accountability. Now here is my conversation with Sara Mokuria.
ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES
It’s an honor and responsibility to share this Episode #33 of the Mother’s Quest Podcast with Sara Mokuria, co-founder of Mothers Against Police Brutality. It’s the third and final in a series I recorded as part of the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative and it comes to you with a call to action to get involved with this issue today.
This episode was dedicated by Collette Flanagan, the founder of Mothers Against Police Brutality, who turned her grief from the loss of her son, Clinton Allen, into fuel for change.
In her dedication, Collette reminded us of our common humanity as mothers and that an insult to one mother is an insult to all mothers. It is this knowing that caused me to record this series after I saw the heart-breaking video of Diamond Reynolds and her then four year old daughter after they witnessed the killing of Philando Castile. Philando was like a father to this little girl, was unarmed and was complying with the police officer’s requests when he was shot.
Seeing the trauma and heartbreak endured by this four year old girl, who was the same age as my son when I saw this video, became a catalyst to face the epidemic of police brutality in our country, and to begin taking action, however imperfect.
Much like Diamond Reynold’s daughter, Sara also endured trauma and heartbreak when she watched her father get shot and killed by police at her home in Dallas when she was 10 years old.
Fueled by her own experience, Sara joined Collette along with another co-founder, John Fullinwider, in creating Mother’s Against Police Brutality, as a multi-racial, multi-ethnic coalition uniting mothers nationwide to fight for civil rights, police accountability and policy reform.
Sara is a mom herself to a seven year old boy. And, in addition to her work with Mothers Against Police Brutality, she’s a sought after educator, community organizer, project manager, and facilitator, currently working as Associate Director for Leadership Initiatives with The Institute for Urban Policy Research at the University of Texas at Dallas. She has two masters degrees, has taught both high school and college at the University of Texas at Dallas and currently serves on the International Mechanism Coordinating Committee for the US Human Rights Network.
She came to the conversation with an open heart she told me, and I felt her generosity and honesty throughout as she shared how police violence changed her life forever, discussed the trauma of being black in America, how the institution of policing and the prison industrial complex contributes to that trauma, and the ways in which an investment in Mothers Against Police Brutality can change policies and systems to reduce violence and create more accountability.
As compelling was Sara’s exploration of the vision she has for our future… of vibrant communities where we invest in our young people, lean into and value our differences, and where each of us taps into our own unique magic to get us there.
We ended our conversation with a co-created prayer, a wish for ourselves as much as for all of you listening, to move into greater responsibility for this work from wherever we are, to have the courage to go to those difficult and painful places so we can create a freer future, and to take this moment right now to support this cause.
I’m doing that today by making a financial contribution to Mothers Against Police Brutality and putting my resources with the mothers, like Sara and Collette, who are closest to the problem and who can see the solution. I hope you’ll join me.
Visit http://mothersagainstpolicebrutality.org/donate/ to make a donation and reference Mother’s Quest or, if contributing on November 28th, Giving Tuesday, visit the Mother’s Quest Facebook Fundraising Page to contribute to the Giving Tuesday Campaign.
This episode dedicated by
Mothers Against Police Brutality founder Collette Flanagan, whose son, Clinton Allen, was shot and killed by the Dallas Police in March of 2013.
Topics discussed in this episode
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Sara’s joyous childhood which changed forever when her father was killed by Dallas police officers when she was just 10 years old
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How Sara’s mother was her fiercest advocate, even as her mother grappled with the deeply traumatic effects of her husband’s killing and the lack of support as a crime victim.
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Disturbing facts about our current law enforcement policies, lack of accountability, the militarization of police, and budget allocations that favor the prison industrial complex over investments that would build a vibrant community
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The New Jim Crowe and the War on Drugs and how it has played out as a war on people of color
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White privilege and how to move from shame and guilt to responsibility and action
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How Sara teaches her son to understand injustice, the history we don’t learn in our schools, and how tenderness, love and joy can be an act of resistance
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What happened when Sara met with the officer who killed her father years later and how that shifted her perspective about what the problem really is
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How women make up half of the world’s population and how we birthed the other half, therefore we are the world. And, the power of mothers to chart the direction of our families and communities.
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The importance of finding your own unique magic to make a difference and why Sara keeps her heart open to welcome people to this cause when they come to it
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Our prayer and invitation to you the listener
Resources mentioned in this episode
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The Movie 13th, directed by Ava Duvernay
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The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
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EP31: Brave Spaces and Solidarity with “Rad Women” Author Kate Schatz
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How the Irish Became White by Noel Ignatiev
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Dallas Woman Turns Tragedy Into Conversation About Race, an article where Sara talks about the system and not police officers being the problem
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Stride Toward Justice: 9 Steps to Change Policing in America – policy recommendations from Mothers Against Police Brutality
This Week’s Three-fold Challenge
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Have courageous conversation about these issues with your families during the holidays.
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Get involved and informed about these issues locally. Become an advocate in your city.
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Make a monetary contribution to support the mothers who are closest to the solution at Mothers Against Police Brutality. Make a donation by visiting http://mothersagainstpolicebrutality.org/donate/.
Announcement
Time Sensitive Opportunity To Join Me and Nicole Lee
One of those guides, Nicole Lee and I, decided we'd like to collaborate on a four-week offering to hold space for learning, growth and solidarity through weekly zoom conversations. If you’re interested in joining, email me ASAP at julie@mothersquest.com or comment on our live conversation today in the Mother’s Quest group and I can give you more details.
Click [here] to watch the Zoom conversation in the Mother's Quest Group.
SPECIAL NOTE: As part of my commitment to amplify the voices and wisdom of black women this week, I’m re-releasing key episodes on the podcast feed, including this one, that I think can light our way in our commitment toward anti-racism and racial justice. You can also find these episodes, and others that shine a light on social justice issues from myself and other podcasters, at www.womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com.
Hello and welcome to Episode #27 of the Mother’s Quest Podcast and the first of several I’ll be sharing for an initiative I’ve launched called Women Podcasters in Solidarity.
The Initiative is a commitment I’ve made, alongside some other amazing women podcasters, to raise awareness and dollars to uncover and dismantle the ways racism, both conscious and unconscious, are impacting our society. I planned the Initiative after viewing the haunting video of Philando Castile’s death and of his girlfriend Diamond Reynolds and her young daughter in the back of the cop car in its aftermath. But, the events of Charlottesville since then have brought another level of urgency to this effort.
I’m so grateful that I found Nicole Lee, an incredible African American woman and mother, as our first guest on this topic, to light the way for how we as mothers, and especially those of us who are white women like myself, can take steps to make a difference, beginning with our own children and our own communities.
Nicole is a strategist, executive coach and public policy advocate through her diversity and inclusion consulting firm, Lee Bayard Group, LLC. And she’s a practicing human rights attorney through the Black Movement Law Project she co-founded, which provides legal and strategy assistance to Black Lives Matter protestors and organizations. Social justice and human rights have been part of her character since she was a child where she got her pioneering spirit especially from her own mother, one of the first black women to be ordained in her Christian denomination.
Nicole brings her experience as a mother and advocate to training parents in how to have courageous conversations with our children about diversity, inclusion and equity. I had the opportunity to learn from Nicole on a recent webinar on the subject, an overview for a more detailed class launching in September, that was also attended by Mallory Schlabach who offers this week’s dedication.
Nicole and I start the episode with shared agreements and intentions for courageous conversation, committing to one another to come to the podcast recording with an open heart, a commitment to move through discomfort and risk imperfection. I vowed not to edit anything out and we both named a shared desire to plant seeds in mothers to raise awareness for themselves and their children.
We explored how we can open channels of communication with our children, holding a “growth mindset” for them in relation to diversity, allowing them to make mistakes as they share what’s on their minds and not “shushing” them when they do. Nicole also shared the importance of expressing our values to our children in ways that they understand.
When I asked her where we could invest in change, she challenged us to focus on our own communities and to identify some hard conversations we’ve been putting off. She emphasized the importance of introspective work to realize what’s in our way, determine what we need to be “ready” and then go get ready and have them.
As it has been for me, I hope this podcast episode, and the links and resources in the show notes, will be part of what you need to get ready to have the brave conversations with your own children and your own communities. As Nicole says at the end of our conversation, “we’ve got this.” We are not being asked to do anything that is not within our grasp. It’s not easy but we can get it done.
This Week’s Challenge:
Our challenge this week is to go back and process our own patterns and thinking about race, diversity and inclusion, to identify what courageous conversations we’ve been putting off, to get what we need to be ready, and then go have them.
Topics discussed in this episode:
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How having an open heart and articulating intentions create meaningful opportunity for brave conversations about our differences
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Nicole’s reflection on why many black women may not want to talk with white women about racism and how to seek out spaces, and resources, to explore these issues if you’re white and have genuine intention to learn
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Nicole’s childhood and how she was driven at an early age to fight for social good
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An exploration of the E.P.I.C Guideposts in relation to the topic of diversity and inclusion
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The role mothers have in planting awareness and knowledge in their children that will help transform our society
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The importance of cultivating real friendships across differences and how color blindness and an unwillingness to have tough conversations can block authentic connection
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The importance of having a growth mindset in the context of race and not to “shush” our children when they share what’s really on their minds
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Expressing our values in a way our children will understand
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Ideas for investing and supporting the Movement for Black Lives and Nicole’s opinion that getting involved locally in advocacy on police relations, and having the hard conversations, in our own communities, are the most important steps we can take.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Mother on a Quest: Nicole Lee
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Growth Mindset in Diversity
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Mother’s Quest Ep 07: Living Out Loud with Jenjii Hysten
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Explaining Charlottesville to my 7-year-old by Nicole Lee
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Lee Bayard Group, LLC – Nicole’s diversity and inclusion consulting firm
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Black Movement Law Project – Legal and strategy assistance to Black Lives Matter protestors and organizations where Nicole is a co-founder
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Nicole’s Upcoming Class on Courageous Conversations With Children
Announcements
Women Podcasters in Solidarity
I’m even more committed to a quest I’ve been on to understand the roots of racism and bigotry, how it still shows up today, and how I can become a better ally and advocate to fight against it.
I’m raising awareness for myself, and inviting you to do the same, through this special podcast episode. I’m also pledging to donate to an organization supporting the Movement for Black Lives and to invite you to donate too leading up to Giving Tuesday in November. More on this to come soon.
If you are a women podcaster yourself, I’d love for you to make a similar pledge to use the power of your platform for this cause. You can learn more and join the initiative by signing up at mothersquest.com/solidarity.
Acknowledgements
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
- Mallory Schlabach – Marketing Magic for Entrepreneurs
- Katharine Earhart of Alesco Advisors
- Jessica Kupferman of She Podcasts
- Resistance Artist Jen Jenkins Dohner
- Genese Harris
- Tonya Rineer, founder of The Profit Party
- Liane Louie-Badua
- Cristin Downs of the Notable Woman Podcast
- Erin Kendall of Fit Mom Go
- Niko Osoteo of Bear Beat Productions
- Erik Newton of The Together Show
- Claire Fry
- Divya Silbermann
- Rachel Winter
- Caren and Debbie Lieberman
- Cameron Miranda
- Fran and David Lieberman
- Debbie and Alan Goore
- Jenise and Marianne of the Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Two of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution http://mothersquest.com/be-a-supporter/
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
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Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
I’m honored to share today's episode, a conversation three years in the making with Rachel Macy Stafford, that arrives during remarkably challenging times, just as we need Rachel’s wisdom most.
Rachel is a writer with one goal: to help people choose love as much as humanly possible. A New York Times bestselling author, her latest book is Live Love Now: Relieve the Pressure and Find Real Connection with Our Kids. She’s also the New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama, Hands Free Life, and Only Love Today; a certified special education teacher with a Master’s Degree in education; an in-demand speaker featured on CNN, Good Morning America, Global News, TIME.com, FoxNews.com, as well as in hundreds of other online and print publications and a beloved blogger who inspires millions in her weekly blog posts at HandsFreeMama.com and through her supportive Facebook community, The Hands Free Revolution.
Like so many of her followers, I stumbled upon Rachel’s work years ago, and her writing immediately became a light on my path to more fully live my purpose.
I'm so grateful that I had this time to talk with Rachel, to explore the threads of presence and authenticity that weave through so much of her journey, to understand that facing our truths is just the beginning of unexpected invitations, and to remember what’s possible for our children to live a present-filled, purpose-filled life when we step forward to do that first.
This conversation with Rachel and her beautiful new book, which I hope you will get and savor as I have been doing, will make you want to show up for yourself and your children in profound new ways and to embody her underlying message, to Live Love Now.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by Samantha Arsenault
Samantha Arsenault Livingstone is an Olympic gold medalist, high-performance consultant, mental health educator, speaker, and entrepreneur – and she’s a mother of four and recovering perfectionist. Samantha holds a master's degree in education and spent six years teaching high school science and coaching swimming. After a near-death experience with her then 12- month old daughter, Samantha knew it was time to pay forward all she's learned about achievement, emotional resilience, rising from failure, and finding happiness.
In 2016, Samantha founded Livingstone High Performance in response to the mental health crisis impacting adolescents across the globe, specifically those in the athletic arena. LHP provides pillars of support to organizations, teams, and individuals to elevate mental health and improve performance, and build a more empowered village. In addition to private and group coaching, Samantha offers online courses and consults with teams and organizations on athlete wellness initiatives, leadership, strategic planning, rising skills, and developing high-performance cultures. She is a certified instructor of Mindful Sport Performance Enhancement and Mental Health First Aid.
Samantha is an engaging public speaker who has more than 19 years of experience, which includes her TEDx Talk: The Weight of Gold: An Olympian’s Path to Recovery. She’s been featured as a keynote speaker, expert panelist, workshop facilitator, and seminar leader. She’s worked with high-school, collegiate, and professional athletes in a group and 1:1 setting; school districts; athletic departments; coaching organizations; women in business groups; wellness entrepreneurs; and national governing bodies, most notably, USA Swimming.
Samantha and her husband, Rob, live in the Berkshires with their four girls. To learn more about her offerings, go over to www.samanthalivingstone.com.
To learn more about her offerings, go over to www.samantha livingstone.com. You can join Samantha’s FREE 5-Day I AM CHALLENGE at www.samanthalivingstone.com/i-am-challenge
Facebook @slivingstonewellness
Linkedin @sarsenaultlivingstone
In This Episode We Talk About:
- The way Rachel's mother gave her the gift of “presence” even when she couldn't be physically present.
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Rachel's quest for purpose and the legacy she wants to leave
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How reflecting on the question "How do I do it all?" on a run one day became the "spark moment" that pushed Rachel to choose herself
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What Rachel means by her connection to her "dreamer girl"
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Why facing the truth is really just the beginning
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What it means when Rachel says to her children "I want to love you by your book."
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Hands-Free Mama as a way of being
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The pressure and insecurity of online life and how screentime distraction becomes the biggest obstacle to living purpose-filled
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The 3 roles that will allow us to walk beside our kids
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Finding your place of refuge and helping your kids find theirs
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How we can "find our people" by doing the things our heart calls us to do
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The tear-filled pledge I made to Rachel, reading from a promise in her book on p.57
This Week's Challenge:
For this week’s challenge, Rachel encourages us to think about any hurtful comments, criticism, consciously and unconsciously, that we’ve been carrying around that’s holding us back from truly fulfilling our purpose. Reflect on it and slowly turn that pain into purpose.
Learn More About
Rachel Macy Stafford
Rachel Macy Stafford is the New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama, Hands Free Life, and Only Love Today. Her fourth book, Live Love Now, releases in April 2020. Rachel is a certified special education teacher who helps people overcome distraction and perfection to live better and love more. Rachel's work has been featured on CNN, Good Morning America, Global News, TIME.com, FoxNews.com, as well as in hundreds of other online and print publications. Her blog (www.handsfreemama.com) currently averages one million visitors a month. Rachel loves taking long walks, baking, and volunteering with homeless cats and nursing home residents. Rachel lives in the South with her husband and two daughters who inspire her daily.
Follow Rachel on Social Media
- HandsFreeMama.com
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Facebook: @TheHandsFreeRevolution
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Instagram: @HandsFreeRevolution
- Twitter: @HandsFreeMama
Resources Mentioned:
- Live Love Now: Relieve the Pressure and Find Real Connection with Our Kids by Rachel Macy Stafford
- What’s Wonderful About a Phone-Conquering, Heart-Led Teen? Find Out For Yourself
-
Being a Mess Becomes a Comfort, Not a Curse, In Just One Ask
Announcements:
Honoring George Floyd By Stepping Into Empathy And Action
I want to acknowledge the pain and horror so many of us are feeling at the killing of another black man by a police officer, in the death of George Floyd. Rachel’s gift is to invite us to be present and purposeful in our lives and that same presence and purpose calls us now to take that pain and turn it into deeper understanding and action.
To support that, in the show notes, I’m including a link to an episode I recorded a few years ago with the co-founder of Mother’s Against Police Brutality Sara Mokuria, and to a set of Anti-Racism resources that Rachel shared in a post, she wrote today. Also in that post, Rachel offered these words from her new book Live Love Now, that I invite us to sit with, along with a few moments of silence, to honor George Floyd, and so many other men like him.
"What if we responded to the injustices inflicted on human lives with empathy and action rather than defensiveness or apathy? What if we lived as if we truly believed it’s not 'your back' or 'my back,' but 'our back'?"
Resources Mentioned in the Opening Call to Action in Honor of
George Floyd:
- Ep33: Beyond the Trauma: Legacy, Compassion and Change with Mother’s Against Police Brutality Co-Founder Sara Mokuria
- Anti-Racism Resources
The Mother's Quest Manifesto Challenge is technically over, but the Reflection Journal, live videos, and reflective prompts are all still waiting for you in the Mother's Quest Facebook Group. Follow along at your own pace by registering here: www.mothersquest.com/manifestochallenge and coming on over to the private group here.
If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!
Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here:
How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad
- On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple's Podcast app.
- Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen.
- Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. ...
- Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Vickie Giambra
Casey O'Roarty of Joyful Courage
Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Samantha Arsenault
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
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Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
If you’re anything like the vast majority of the mothers I’ve been talking with, you’ve been feeling disoriented and like you’ve lost yourself during these last few months. You may be wondering how am I ever going to come back home to myself?
I had been feeling this way too...overwhelmed with fear, moving through all the stages of grief, and juggling demands at home that now included supporting my children’s distance learning... on top of all the other things!
In this special Mother’s Day episode, I share how the E.P.I.C. Life framework itself, words of wisdom from past guests on the podcast, and a question my teenage son Ryan asked me, started to help me reclaim myself.
Listen in for special clips lighting my way from episodes I’ll be re-releasing this week as part of a special series to light the way in the midst of challenge:
- Planting Seeds for Mother’s Quest – My Introductory Episode
- “E” engaging mindfully with our children - “Flawed” with Truth Bomb Mom Kristina Kuzmic
- “P” passionate and purposeful impact beyond our family - From Grief to Advocacy and a Circle of Mothers with Trayvon Martin’s Mother Sybrina Fulton
- “I” invested in ourselves - Choosing Gratitude and Glitter with Nancy Netherland
- “C” connected to a strong support network - Reclaiming Ourselves in Motherhood with Graeme Seabrook
I also share about some epic plans for our third annual Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge, the one Graeme Seabrooke and I had created together in our conversation on the podcast two years ago. Taking place starting May 11th, in the free Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, it’s a 7-day journey to reclaiming ourselves, a chance to reflect together, along a new process I’m naming “CHOOSE,” and to create or refine our own manifestos for living our lives, yes even in the midst of a pandemic. Sign up here to join us.
As for me, I’ve learned on Mother’s Day, that in addition to spending time with my children, I need some time to myself. So, today I’ll be going on my favorite milestone hike, and when I reach the summit, I’ll sit down and listen to my favorite meditation, one called “Teshuvah” or “Return” in Hebrew, that brings new meaning to the idea of setting out on a journey and returning home. Of losing our center and finding it again.
So, this Mother’s Day, I invite you to find your center again as you listen to this episode, and ask yourself some of the same questions I’ve been exploring. In what ways have you been feeling trapped? When was the last time you felt connected to your purpose? And what might it take for you to open a door for yourself…to choose yourself...and to take even just one tentative step closer to your version of an E.P.I.C. life?
One Possible Next Step: Join Us for the Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge
The Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge is a 7-day experience that will move you through a series of reflective prompts to support you in creating or refining a "manifesto" of your own to become an anchor in your life in these years that you are raising your children.
In addition to reflective prompts that I'll share live in the group each morning, I've invited a different mother to also go live, to share their journey and manifestos and also to offer a tool or practice that would support the prompt we're reflecting on.
This year, I'll be exploring a new acronym mnemonic and framework "CHOOSE" that captures the process I went through when I claimed my manifesto...a process I realized has been with me in all the other times of my life when I shifted a perspective and moved myself forward in a powerful way.
Here is what’s in store for you in the next 7 days.
5/10 Mother's Day with Graeme Seabrook - Both Graeme and I will be live in the group at some point to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day, welcome new members, share about why we co-created the challenge two years ago, and set the frame for the week.
5/11 Day 1: C with Lindsay Pera - "Claim" the experience or opportunity in front of you that calls you to something different; sometimes these are even painful moments you would not choose for yourself. Sometimes these feel like a "sign" that calls to you in mysterious ways. What is the "spark" for you?
5/12 Day 2: H with Jadah Sellner - "Hold space for reflection" give yourself an opportunity to pause and make meaning of what is happening so you can learn from it and consciously move forward in a different way
5/13 Day 3: O with Nic Strack - "Own the perspective" that is NOT serving you. What story are you telling yourself that feels outdated? Or what way of looking at something is feeling out of alignment or holding you back? Before you can move forward, it's important to really look at where you are now.
5/14 Day 4: O with Jamie Greenwood - "Own a more empowering perspective" explore a new way of looking at something that resonates for you and that returns a sense of power to you
5/15 Day 5: S with Amy Walsh and Elsie Escober - "Stake in the ground" put your stake in the ground and claim this new perspective by expressing it clearly (and sharing when/if you feel comfortable). This is the day when the manifesto itself comes into form. I've invited several key guests this day who will each offer a different creation method that you can utilize to help express yourself.
5/16 Day 6: E with Jessica Stong - "Explore one next step" begin to close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be by taking setting intention for one action.
5/17 Day 7: Reflection and Celebration Circle An opportunity to come together via zoom after the challenge is over to reflect on the process, lessons learned and to share our manifestos with one another.
Sign up here to get daily reminders and to download the FREE Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge Reflection Journal.
After a podcast pause, I’m back with a bite-sized reflection from living my own E.P.I.C. life. If in the midst of this global pandemic, you’re someone like me, with the privilege of sheltering in place, and find yourself swinging from gratitude and inspiration to exasperation, this reflection is for you!
In this minisode, I share some of the things I’ve been reading and listening to that have supported me, and how they all weaved together one night when I sat down to write some aspirations for myself, something I’m referring to now as my “Pandemic Promise.”
I hope you’ll give yourself some pause so you can listen in, hear about some of the practices and ideas that are grounding me right now, and consider writing a promise to yourself.
In this minisode you’ll hear me talk about:
- A powerful essay from Indian author, Arundhati Roy, suggesting ‘The pandemic is a portal’
- How my conversation in Ep 59: The Healer Lies Within through Ayurveda with Avanti Kumar Singh reminds me to create daily rituals
- Ep 63: A Maker’s Journey to a Good Life with Jonathan Fields, my “sparktype” and the morning practice Jonathan recommended that has me starting my day with clarity.
- A reminder to reconnect with the wisdom of our ancestors from Ep 50: Weaving our Ancestral Threads with Genealogist Nicka Smith
- The metaphor of the virus as a storm and how the three breath practice we explored in Ep 51: Equanimity & The Calm In the Storm with Mindful Parent Michelle Gale are helping me
- My “Pandemic Promise” to myself
If you’d rather read than listen, you can also go straight to the blog post here.
And please mark your calendar for the 3rd Annual Mother’s Quest Manifesto Challenge, starting on May 11th in the Facebook Group. Join here.
Follow all the conversations at www.mothersquest.com/podcast
Much appreciation,
Julie Neale
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
I’m honored to share this episode, the first I’m releasing after our lives have changed in immense ways due to this global pandemic. At a time when we realize how interconnected we all are, I’m honored to bring you a conversation with Dr. Belinda Arriaga, a leader at Bay Area Border Relief, about the incredibly important work she does championing families seeking asylum at the United States Mexican border.
In addition to her advocacy through Bay Area Border Relief, Belinda is Founder and Executive Director of Ayudando Latinos a Soñar, a non-profit which stands for Believing in Latinos to Dream, dedicated to working with Latino rural youth, families, farmworkers, asylum seekers, and seniors living on coastside in the San Francisco Bay Area. Bringing her training as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, she serves as an Assistant Professor at the University of San Francisco in the School of Education, as Co-Founder of the Half Moon Bay Latino Advisory, and founder of the Latino Trauma Institute. She’s beloved by those who know her as being a fierce advocate with a heart of gold.
In this episode, Belinda shares about her own childhood immigration experiences journeying to America from Panama, how despite her mother’s instruction to keep her head down she learned to speak out and fight injustice, about our country’s history of honoring asylum as a human right, and now the ways in which our current immigration policies increase trauma for families fleeing violence instead of providing our protection, shelter and support. Belinda tells her firsthand accounts of the devastating conditions that families experience living in encampments on the Mexican side of the border now and also about miracles and community rising up to literally open doors.
With faith in our collective generosity and hope for more miracles, Belinda and I spoke this week about what the families at the border need now. We want to invite you to say “yes” to the challenge of writing love letters in Spanish especially to the children there and also to send along children’s masks that can provide some protection from the spread of the coronavirus if it reaches their encampment. As we are sheltering in place, Belinda, the Bay Area Border Relief team and I invite you to follow the information in the show notes to take action within your homes, to send care packages that let these families know that they are not forgotten.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by: Vickie Giambra of ABA’s Children’s Immigration Law Academy
Vickie Giambra is a Senior Staff Attorney with the ABA’s Children’s Immigration Law Academy. She lives in Houston, TX with her husband and twice-exceptional daughter. She has been practicing immigration law since 2009. She began her nonprofit immigration law career when she joined Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston in January 2017.
As a Managing Attorney, she led the General Immigration Program at Catholic Charities, which encompassed family immigration matters and provided a full range of immigration services for refugees and asylees. With a B.A., cum laude, in Latin American Studies from Barnard College, Columbia University, and an M.Phil. from the University of Cambridge, Vickie began her career working in HR and recruitment for a large international law firm in New York and London.
This sparked an interest in employment and immigration law, which led Vickie to enroll in the University of Houston Law Center, graduating in May 2009. She’s also a member of the Texas Bar and is also a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach.
ABA Children’s Immigration Law Academy
Connect with Vickie:
Vickie’s Suggested Resources:
- DHS Measures on the Border to Limit the Further Spread of Coronavirus
- Trump administration has expelled 10,000 migrants at the border during coronavirus outbreak, leaving less than 100 in CBP custody
- U.S. deports 400 migrant children under new coronavirus rules
- Under coronavirus immigration measure, U.S. is expelling border-crossers to Mexico in an average of 96 minutes
- There is No Public Health Rationale for a Categorical Ban on Asylum Seekers
In This Episode We Talk About:
- How Belinda’s painful experience leaving her native Panama for the United States connects to the work she does now supporting immigrants.
- An explanation of the Migrant Protection Protocol (MPP), a policy that stopped asylum seekers from entering the United States since November
- A discussion of asylum-seeking as a basic human right
- Belinda's firsthand experience and observations about children's suffering under our current immigration policy and the ways we can support them
- How Belinda finds the personal strength and faith to persevere in the challenging work she does
- Belinda’s belief in miracles and a powerful story about community rising up to support a family seeking asylum
This Week's Challenge:
For this episode’s challenge, Belinda encourages us to write love letters to the children who are seeking asylum (especially after the government’s latest announcement to shut down all asylum efforts right now) and to support an effort to bring 1,000 children’s masks to the families at the border. With this simple act of love and care, we can empower them to have strength especially when they are scared or lonely.
You can send your letters and masks to 4 Windsor Drive, Hillsborough, CA 94010
If you're interested in contributing to the larger project, you can go to https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/bayareaborderrelief to make a fully tax-deductible donation.
And/or order masks for your family & friends with proceeds supporting the campaign visit 👉 bit.ly/BABRmasks
Learn More About Belinda Arriaga
Belinda Hernandez Arriaga is a Faculty Coordinator for the Masters In Counseling MFT program at USF's South Bay location. She co-founded and is part of the Latino Advisory Council in Half Moon Bay. Belinda has done extensive work on the coast working with farmworker families and their children, in her community practice her focus is on immigration trauma, u-visas, asylum and has worked with refugee children of San Mateo County.
She is Founder and Chief Executive Director of Ayudando Latinos A Soñar (www.alashmb.org), a Latino cultural arts, education, and social justice program dedicated to working with rural youth and families living on the coast side. Her current research is focused on understanding the emotional, psychological, and traumatic experiences that impact undocumented and mixed-status Latino youth.
Belinda’s work also focuses on understanding the cultural arts as a healing space for this community of children. Belinda is committed to social justice advocacy and multicultural practices in counseling that gives voice to underground communities and expand indigenous cultural practices in the field of counseling. She and her husband have three young daughters and live in the coastal community of Half Moon Bay.
To know more about Belinda and the work that she does, you can read her full bio 👉here
Follow Belinda on Social Media
- ALAS Facebook
- Emails:
Resources Mentioned:
- Bay Area Border Relief
- Bay Area Border Relief Facebook Group
- Ayudando Latinos A Soñar
- Latino Trauma Institute
Additional Resources featuring Belinda:
- TIME Magazine - ‘They’re Screaming for Help.’ See Drawings From Children Stuck in Mexico as They Seek U.S. Asylum
Announcements:
There are 3000 people hoping for a chance at a better life for themselves and their families. They are also at risk of being exposed to the virus. A joint project between ALAS and Bay Area Border Relief has been launched which is a mask making effort and it'll include the families at South Texas border, all across the Rio Grande from Brownsville.
Join me in my efforts to support them. If you're interested in contributing to this project, you can go to https://donatenow.networkforgood.org/bayareaborderrelief to make a fully tax-deductible donation.
And/or order masks for your family & friends. Proceeds support the campaign 👉 bit.ly/BABRmasks
Join us in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group
At the time I’m releasing this episode, during the COVID-19 global pandemic, so many of us are seeking ways to connect with one another, even while needing to stay physically apart. If you identify with being a mother on a quest and you’re not yet a member of the free private Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, I invite you to join us for opportunities to learn together, to share what we have to offer one another and where we need support, and to find ways to make meaning of all we’re going through right now. Visit www.motherquest.com/community to join and I’d be honored to welcome you in.
Season Five of the Mother’s Podcast is Under Way! - Help us Spread the Word
If you enjoy the Mother’s Quest Podcast, we’d love your support in sharing this or another favorite episode with a mother you think would appreciate it too!
Another way to help spread the word is to leave a review at Apple Podcasts. Instructions for leaving a review are here:
How to leave a rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad
- On your iOS mobile device, launch Apple's Podcast app.
- Tap the Search tab in the lower right corner of the screen.
- Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. ...
- Tap the Reviews tab, then tap “Write a Review” at the bottom of the screen.
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Vickie Giambra
Casey O'Rourty of Joyful Courage Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
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Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
Have you ever had a “pinch me” moment when you can’t believe how things come together?
With two boys in my home, and one a teen already, I’ve wanted to interview New York Times bestselling author Peggy Orenstein for the Mother's Quest Podcast since the moment I first heard about her new book, Boys & Sex.
So, when Jill Daniel of Happy Women Dinners asked me if I’d like to co-produce a dinner and conversation with Peggy in the SF Bay Area, I said “yes” practically before she finished her sentence.
That I would have the opportunity to interview Peggy for the debut episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast Season Five ahead of our in-person dinner was just the most incredible bonus.
Because Peggy’s work is truly transformational.
Peggy is the New York Times bestselling author of Girls & Sex, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Waiting for Daisy, Flux, and Schoolgirls, an award-winning journalist, and internationally recognized speaker on gender issues, especially those related to teens, sex and relationships. She’s a contributing writer to the New York Times Magazine and has also been published in The Washington Post, Slate, The Atlantic, and The New Yorker. She’s been featured on Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The Today Show, Morning Joe, NPR’s Fresh Air and The PBS News Hour. Her TED Talk, “What Young Women Believe About Their Own Sexual Pleasure,” has been viewed over 4.6 million times.
The need to engage in conversations with our children about sex, even when they make us feel uncomfortable, was one of the biggest take-aways I had from my interview with Peggy. In this episode, we explore the insights she uncovered through her interviews with 100 teen boys and young men about their conceptions of masculinity and sexuality, including the early and pervasive experiences they have with porn, their understanding of consent, and the ways in which they feel unable to fully express themselves as emotional human beings.
Where Peggy’s prior research revealed that girls are systematically disconnected from their bodies, boys she found are disconnected from their hearts.
As you listen, I invite you to think about how you could use something you learn in this episode to connect with your child. Be aware that while we don’t have explicit conversations about sex, we do mention topics such as porn. Please use your discretion in whether you want to play this episode around children. With older boys, you may purposefully choose, as Peggy jokingly suggests, to play this episode in their vicinity as a conversation starter.
I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share this interview with you. I appreciated Peggy’s openness to sharing about her own E.P.I.C. life, to her bravery in her work, her inclusion of the perspectives of transgender and gay boys and to the impact of race in our conceptions of sexuality, and her challenge to us to have conversations with our children about sex. It’s not just “one talk,” she says, but a series of ongoing ones that our times call for today. And we have to start somewhere.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by: Casey O'Rourty of Joyful Courage to Amy Lang of Birds & Bees & Kids
Casey O’Roarty, Med, is a facilitator of personal growth and development. Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselves and their families.
As a Positive Discipline Trainer since 2007 and certified coach, Casey has led countless groups through workshops and classes that have left them feeling empowered and excited about parenting. She also offers an engaging podcast, live and online classes, and individual coaching at www.joyfulcourage.com. Her first book, Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of YOUR Parenting Journey launched May 20th, 2019. Casey lives in the Pacific Northwest with greatest teachers – her husband, and two teenage kids.
👉 Registration for Joyful Courage: Parenting Teens Academy
Join the Joyful Courage Parents of Teens Facebook Group
Live and Love with Joyful Courage
Casey’s Social Media:
About Amy Lang:
Amy Lang is a sexual health educator for over 20 years, she helps parents of all beliefs talk with kids of any age about the birds and the bees. She’s the author of the award-winning book Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids - A Guide to Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love, and Relationships.
She started Birds & Bees & Kids with the mission to help every kid grow up to become healthy adults by helping their parents learn how they can engage and talk to their kids about their sex and sexuality.
You can learn more about Amy and her work here 👉 Amy Lang’s Birds & Bees & Kids
**Special thanks to Jill Daniel of happy-women-dinners for co-producing and hosting the event with Peggy Orenstein**
Happy Women Dinners is the brainchild of food writer, gourmet cook, and publicist Jill Daniel. As a food writer, Jill wrote about food from one coast of the country to the other. She is the owner of Dinner-Licious, she serves up delicious organic dinners to families around the San Francisco Bay Area.
With Happy Women Dinners, Jill has brought together fantastic food and speakers with a focus on women. Happy Women Dinners events are held in intimate settings and limited to small groups of women.
Jill Daniel - LinkedIn
Happy Women Dinners
Happy Women Dinners Facebook Page
In This Episode We Talk About:
- How our conversation coincided with the four year anniversary of Peggy’s mother's death, the impact her mother had on her, and how we carry our ancestor with us
- The high school journalism assignment that set Peggy on her life purpose path of telling stories.
- The importance of being in conversation with our kids about sex
- What Peggy believes sex is really about and her ultimate end-game in all of her work
- What one transgender boy illuminated for Peggy about the topic of masculinity
- Ways that sex and gender are mediated by race and ethnicity
- What has changed today about pornography and the ways that shape our boys' experience of sex
- How to know when to talk to our kids about sex and porn
- The ways in which boys feel disconnected from their emotions
- Talking to our boys about consent
- What supports Peggy in staying grounded while doing this work
- The importance of finding community among other parents as we navigate conversations about sex with our kids
This Week's Challenge:
For this episode’s challenge, Peggy encourages us to start having conversations with our children about sex. With your older boys, consider listening to this episode together. You can also visit her website for a list of resources that can support you in having conversations with children at any developmental stage.
Learn More About Peggy Orenstein:
Peggy Orenstein is the author of the New York Times best-sellers Boys & Sex, Girls & Sex, Cinderella Ate My Daughter and Waiting for Daisy as well as Don’t Call Me Princess, Flux, and the classic SchoolGirls:.
A contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine and AFAR, Peggy has also written for such publications as The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, New York , The Atlantic and The New Yorker, and has contributed commentaries to NPR’s All Things Considered . She has been featured on, among other programs, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The Today Show, Morning Joe, NPR’s Fresh Air and The PBS News Hour. Her TED Talk, “What Young Women Believe About Their Own Sexual Pleasure,” has been viewed over 4.6 million times.
The Columbia Journalism Review named Peggy one of its “40 women who changed the media business in the past 40 years.” She has been recognized for her “Outstanding Coverage of Family Diversity,” by the Council on Contemporary Families and received Books For A Better Life Awards for both Girls & Sex and Waiting for Daisy. Her work has also been honored by the Commonwealth Club of California, the National Women’s Political Caucus of California and Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Additionally, she has been awarded fellowships from the United States-Japan Foundation and the Asian Cultural Council and been a grateful resident at Mesa Refuge and the UCross Foundation.
Peggy's Books:
- Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity
- Girl & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape
- Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between: The New and Necessary Conversations Today’s Teenagers Need to Have about Consent, Sexual Harassment, Healthy Relationships, Love, and More
Connect with Peggy
Resources from Peggy:
Resources Mentioned:
- Ep 54: Superheroes, Fighting Patriarchy, and Courageously Defeating Gun Violence with Ladd Everitt
- Grown and Flown: How to Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults by Lisa Heffernan
- Grown and Flown Parents Facebook Community
Announcements:
Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year Workshop
Join me on one of my favorite things to facilitate, the Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year Workshop, where I will take you via zoom on a “virtual milestone hike” an opportunity for reflection and intention-setting as we officially close one chapter and begin another. At Mother’s Quest, we’ve decided that February is the new January, and truthfully it is always a good time to begin again with intention. Click the link in the show notes to join this experience live tomorrow or to request the replay and come along when the time is right for you. Hope to see you there!
Join the Spark Your Epic Year Workshop by signing up here.
Want More Reflection in Your Life?
Book A Discovery Call
Some key themes that emerge from all my conversations, is the power of reflection and the power of being seen. These are elements that I bring, not only to every podcast interview, but to my one-one-one coaching and Mother’s Quest Circle facilitation. If you’re seeking more space for pause and reflection in your life, I encourage you to reach out to me for a discovery call to learn how we might work together. Visit mothersquest.as.me/discoverysession to schedule a time to talk.
Click here to book a discovery call
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Casey O'Rourty of Joyful Courage Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
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Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
In this pre-season MINISODE, a bite-sized reflection from my E.P.I.C. Life, I shared how my start to 2020 has been filled with both struggle and success, what it's like to share the full range of our experiences online in today's Instagramable world, and three things that have supported me on the threshold of a reset.
Also, a little about what to expect in my Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year Workshop, a chance for us to begin 2020 again, because February is the new January.
Three Things That Helped Me:
- Integrating my Emotions
- Finding my guides
- Doubling down on self-care
- This “A Tale of Two Narratives” by Lex Vernon put it all in perspective
Join the Spark Your Epic Year Workshop by signing up here.
Season 5 of the Mother's Quest Podcast will begin tomorrow. Join the conversation at www.mothersquest.com/podcast
I’m honored to bring you this Season Four finale episode of the Mother’s Quest Podcast with two special guests and dear family friends, transgender model, activist and writer Corey Rae and her talented and trailblazing mother, Judy Blank.
Corey is a 26-year-old activist, consultant, model, speaker and writer who shatters stigmas surrounding the transgender community. She was born transgender in the 1990’s and started her physical transition when she was 15 years old with the unwavering support of her mother Judy. Shortly after, Corey became the world’s first openly transgender girl to be crowned Prom Queen, a story in production for a feature film titled QUEEN, which Corey is Executive Producing.
As a stylist, designer and creator of hand-carved jewelry, with over 30 years of experience, Judy’s professional skills have taken her across the industries of television, music, and photography. Her intuitive detail-oriented approach to hairstyling and personal style consulting has supported hundreds of individuals to feel good about themselves and make meaningful lifestyle changes.
In this episode, Corey and Judy share, for the first time together, their mother daughter account of how they blazed a trail in Corey’s transgender journey, telling stories spanning from Judy’s standing up to Corey’s kindergarten teacher, who wanted to stop her from dressing as a girl during dress-up time, to supporting Corey through her gender affirmation surgery at age 19.
Corey also recounts her evolution from living “stealth” for five years after her surgery, when no one knew she was transgender, to coming out publicly in 2016 through her first blog post on her site CoreyRae.com, titled, "Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself.”
Since then, Corey has become a strong voice in helping others that struggle with gender identity, the transition process, or coming out and has actively shared her personal stories and advice on her blog, on a monthly column on StyleCaster.com, in publications like Vogue, Cosmopolitan and People magazines, and at events like the MAKERS Women's Conference. She’s currently the new campaign model for the beauty subscription brand, IPSY, and had what I call an epic snapshot moment posing with her mother in front of one of her LA billboards, a photo we used for the podcast art.
This conversation had me in tears many times. I was moved by how Judy transformed her childhood experiences of being bullied into fuel for becoming a rock solid ally for her child, how her experience raising a transgender daughter when few resources and knowledge existed, sparked a deep desire to support other families and their children so they don’t have to feel alone, and how, after years of helping Corey become her authentic self, Judy is now experiencing her own rebirth after a challenging divorce.
Recording this conversation live in a recording studio on the eve of my 48th birthday and the birthday of the Mother’s Quest Podcast, felt like the representation of everything I hoped the podcast would be when I created it three years ago: a space for transformative, inspiring conversations that invite all of us to live more fully. I hope you’ll listen to this episode with an open heart and mind and say “yes” to Judy and Corey’s challenge to “truly listen to our children,” to embrace them, and help them grow into the fullest, most authentic expression of who they are.
Much appreciation,
P.S. This is the last episode of Season Four and I'll be taking a break through the end of January. Come on over to the Mother's Quest Facebook Group, if you're not there yet, to stay connected until the podcast returns! Can't wait to bring you more inspiring conversations in 2020.
This Episode is Dedicated by:
Kathie Moehlig of TransFamily Support Services
TransFamily Support Services SAVES lives by shaping a gender-affirming and accepting community. TransFamily Support Services provides navigation for the journey. We serve transgender youth and their families all over the country and there is never a fee for our services.
We help families to understand the gender journey and assist with referrals to medical and mental health providers. We also help navigate the insurance issues as well as work with schools to be sure the youth are safe and affirmed.
Kathie Moehlig, Founder of TransFamily Support Services, is a leading authority on supporting transgender and non-binary youth and their families. A tireless advocate for the LGBTQ community, she was named “Woman of the Year” by California Assemblyperson Gloria. A certified life coach, parenting instructor and motivational speaker, Kathie’s work have been featured in media nationally. She regularly crisscrossing the country to work with families, schools, healthcare, and organizations to promote understanding, inclusion, and equality.
TransFamily Support Services - Navigation for the Journey
If you want to support TransFamily Support Services, you can send your donations here.
👉 DONATE
Connect with Kathie:
You can learn more about Kathie and how she founded TransFamily Services here.
In This Episode We Talk About:
- Corey’s journey of self-identity during a time when there was much less awareness and few resources about being transgender
- Moments that helped Corey to realize she was transgender and that sparked her path to transition
- The impact of Judy’s own childhood experience grappling with learning disabilities and bullying in how that shaped how she parented
- The importance of listening to what your children are saying, not just in their words but also in their behavior
- Why you shouldn’t parent your kids from fear
- Deconstructing what it means to be transgender
- The importance for Corey of naming the ways in which she holds privilege as a white transgender woman
- Educating ourselves and others on how we can de-stigmatize the transgender community
- Corey’s coming of age movie - Queen
- Asking a lot of questions of our children and then waiting for the answer
- The ways in which Judy is experiencing her own rebirth: including several creative projects of her own, a memoir “Back to Blank,” and a signature jewelry piece for people in transition modeled after a butterfly.
Additional Resources for Transgender Families and Allies:
- Amber Leventry – Queer. Nonbinary. Writer. Advocate.
- Jamie Bruesehoff – Award-winning writer, Speaker, Advocate, and an openly Queer woman.
- Raising Luminaries: Books for Littles - LGBT
- Gender Spectrum, located in Oakland
- San Mateo Pride Center on El Camino in San Mateo
- The Gender Creative Child by Diane Ehrensaft, PhD
- Meet Marvel's First Transgender Hero: 12-Year-Old 'Mighty' Rebekah
This Week's Challenge:
For this week’s challenge, Judy and Corey challenge us to really listen to our children. Look at what they are really saying and don’t parent from a place of fear.
Ask your kids a lot of questions and wait for the answer. And if they don’t have the answer just let it sit, because you’re helping them think about it. Judy and Corey encourage everyone of us to love our kids for who they really are and allow them to be their authentic selves.
Learn More About Corey Rae:
Corey Rae is a 26-year-old activist, consultant, model, speaker, and writer who shatters social stigmas surrounding the transgender community. Corey was born transgender and started her physical transition when she was 15 years old with the help of her mother Judy. Shortly after, she became the World’s first openly transgender girl to be crowned Prom Queen.
In 2012, Corey had gender affirmation surgery at age 19, but kept her past a secret. After five years of living stealth, she told her story publicly in 2016 through her first blog post on her site CoreyRae.com, titled, "Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself”
Corey shares personal stories of her upbringing and experiences on her blog, as well as elevates the stories of other inspiring and unique LGBTQ+ members on her site. She writes a monthly advice column on StyleCaster.com with helpful tips on dating, fashion, beauty, and destigmatizing transgender beauty standards. Corey’s high school prom victory story has been acquired and is in production for a feature film titled QUEEN, which she is Executive Producing.
Corey speaks at public and private events such as LGBTQ+ marches, Universities, and even Lululemon Headquarters. She’s partnered with brands and companies such as IPSY, HBO, Lululemon, OUAI Haircare, Seventh Generation, MAKERS, It Gets Better, Orgain, Squarespace, Tumblr, LAPRIDE, and the Los Angeles LGBT Center.
When Corey isn’t focused on her activism career, you can find her hiking Runyon Canyon, hanging out with her closest friends, or shopping with her mom Judy.
Resources from Corey:
- Corey Rae & Sarah Kate Ellis | Public speaking at The 2019 MAKERS Conference
- Corey Rae’s Stylecaster Advice Column
- Personal website - Corey Rae
Follow Corey on Social Media:
Learn More About Judy Blank:
Judy Blank wants to live in a world where children grow up with kindness, compassion and the ability to grow into the fullest, most authentic expression of who they are.
Her own experience raising her transgender daughter Corey in the 1990’s, and blazing a path for Corey’s transition, during a time when few resources and knowledge existed, sparked a deep desire to support other families and their children so they don’t have to feel alone.
As a stylist and designer with over 30 years of experience, Judy’s professional skills have taken her across the industries of television, music, and photography. Her intuitive detail-oriented approach to hairstyling and personal style consulting has supported hundreds of individuals to feel good about themselves and make meaningful lifestyle changes.
In 2004, a class Judy took at the Art Center of New Jersey in wax-carving sparked an extension of Judy’s love for design that results in one-of-a-kind pieces that symbolize the change her clients seek. Using precious metals and gemstones, she creates her custom design jewelry using an intricate hand-carving technique known as Lost-wax casting.
Whether working with hair, jewelry, or styling, Judy maintains her focus on the most important element, you, and believes that when it comes to living true to your most authentic self, the details count.
This fall, Judy began a new transition in her life, moving back to her native home, Los Angeles, to grow her design and styling business and to assist Corey with her growing career. She’s also writing her own story in a book “Back to Blank,” about raising a transgender child in a time when people didn’t know what it was and chronicling how she overcame her disabilities and abusive relationships to reclaim her life.
Connect with Judy:
Announcements:
Mother’s Quest Turned Three!
Help us celebrate three years, 70 episodes and 40,000 downloads of the Mother’s Quest Podcast!! In honor of this milestone, I’ll be recording a special solocast with my reflections on the past three years and I’d love to include some messages from you. Head over to mothersquest.com/podcast to use the speakpipe tool, or your own recording app of choice, to send a message with your thoughts about Mother’s Quest, your favorite episode, or a way that our community has impacted you. I’m looking forward to sharing some of your voices, alongside mine, in this celebratory recording coming to you in the new year.
Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative
If you identify as a woman podcaster, I hope you’ll join us for the third season of the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative. Our group recently committed to the topic of immigration from a social justice perspective, and we invite you to join us by committing to record an episode that can shine a light on this important issue. To take a look at past seasons and get more information visit www.womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com.
Want More Reflection in Your Life?
Book A Discovery Call
Some key themes that emerge from all my conversations, is the power of reflection and the power of being seen. These are elements that I bring, not only to every podcast interview, but to my one-one-one coaching and Mother’s Quest Circle facilitation. If you’re seeking more space for pause and reflection in your life, I encourage you to reach out to me for a discovery call to learn how we might work together. Visit mothersquest.as.me/discoverysession to schedule a time to talk.
Click here to book a discovery call
One Minute Mom Manifesto
⚡️Have you been feeling a nudge to say "yes" to create your Mother's Quest Manifesto? The official challenge and giveaway may be over, but the invitation and content is always there for you to create your #oneminutemommanifesto
Here are some easy steps you can follow...
👉 Join the Mother's Quest Facebook Group www.mothersquest.com/community to find the "unit" for the Manifesto Challenge's reflective prompts and live videos. It's all waiting for you!
👉 Follow along with the "unit" at your own pace. Share your reflections along the way in the comments. Let us cheer you on!
👉 Give yourself some quiet time to create your own #oneminutemommanifesto in whatever way feels good...writing, art, photos, song. It can be simple and quick. Don't overthink it. What matters most, as a guiding light, for how you want to live your life at this stage of raising your children?
👉 Share your #oneminutemommanifesto on social media with the hashtag. Tag me if you can to make sure I've seen it. Consider nominating a friend who would benefit.
--Join us, share or tag a friend, or comment on how the #oneminutemommanifesto has helped you if you've already created yours.--
Would LOVE for more of you to join us in claiming, or reclaiming, HOW you want to live your life ✨🙌
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Kathie Moehlig or TransFamily Support Services
Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Four of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
---
Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
Overcoming Overwhelm: Dismantle Your Stress from the Inside Out is the title of the book written by my guest for this episode of the podcast, Dr. Samantha Brody.
Dr. Samantha, as she is frequently called, is a licensed naturopathic physician and acupuncturist, and the founder of Evergreen Natural Health Center in Portland, OR. For decades in her private practice and virtual consulting business, she has helped thousands of people transform their lives with her innovative, personalized approach.
I love how the right podcast guest presents herself to me every time.
Because the truth is, I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed in my life right now. A new puppy, challenges with our younger son in relationship with the puppy, a traumatic experience with an active shooter scare at a theme park with my son Ryan, and a cold and cough that I couldn’t shake was definitely creating a sense of overwhelm.
But, inspired by this conversation, I decided to take a pause and start to take steps that are already helping me feel better. I said no to some things on my to do list, I pushed out the date of this episode’s release and I started shutting down my computer in the evenings. I reached out to Dr. Samantha for a consultation about my health and my friend, Casey O’Roarty of the Joyful Courage Podcast, for a positive parenting coaching session.
I also posted in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group to share what was happening and was met with an outpouring of support. One mother who responded with compassion and to tell me I was not alone in how I was feeling was Anne Ferguson of MamaFuel, the perfect person to bring us this episode’s dedication about the importance of saying no and caring for ourselves.
Anne’s dedication, this conversation on the podcast, and the challenge and tools that Dr. Samantha invites us to explore have been powerful invitations for me to slow down, to look at what I value most, and to realign with a focus on self-compassion and self-care, to those things.
I invite you to press pause, to release something from your to do list today, so that you have a little more space to listen in to this reflective conversation with Dr. Samantha. Then follow through as I will with the “values” exercise she gives us as our challenge, share what you discover in the Mother’s Quest Facebook group where Samantha will be following up with us, and join me in taking more steps toward overcoming overwhelm.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by: Anne Ferguson of Mamafuel
This episode is dedicated by Anne Ferguson to every mama who has said no to the overwhelm and lovingly took the time to take care of themselves, so they can show up strong and whole in their lives and with the people they love.
Anne is the founder of MamaFuel, a global community of mamas who are learning to put themselves first, so they can enjoy happier relationships with their kids and thrive in every part of their lives. Anne hosts amazing urban retreats for mamas across Switzerland, where she lives with her husband, two daughters and one very demanding dog.
Anne is also the host of MamaFuel: The Podcast in which she shares raw, real and often funny conversations with mamas who are doing great things in ways large and small. Her mission is to change the way mamas treat themselves and each other so we can live in a more connected, harmonious world where mamas are thriving.
Anne’s passion for words and how we talk to ourselves and each other expands beyond MamaFuel. Anne recently founded Your Process Lab, a company that’s revolutionizing the way organizations train and motivate their people by ditching stiff, archaic language and communicating in ways that make today’s workforce take action. Anne consults to the United Nations on language and communication and is expanding her activities to include public speaking across Europe.
Visit the MamaFuel website: https://www.mamafuel.me/
Follow Anne Ferguson on Social Media:
In This Episode We Talk About:
- How Samantha’s medical trauma and experience being bullied may have impacted her healing career path
- Samantha’s commitment to empowering and supporting her patients to express their needs and advocate for themselves.
- Living in integrity with your values and the “tells” our body gives us when we are out of alignment
- Conversations with Samantha’s son about his adoption and about race (he is biracial and Samantha and her husband are white) from the time he was young and how that set up an openness and honesty about all kinds of conversation
- What is overwhelm and Samantha’s four-step process for overcoming it
- How so many things in our lives can come in "seasons" and how in this season for Samantha, slowing down to pause is serving her most
Resources from Dr. Samantha:
- Overcoming Overwhelm: Dismantle Your Stress from the Inside Out
- Values Exercise from Overcoming Overwhelm
- Sample Chapter from Overcoming Overwhelm
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Ep 27: Courageous Conversations About Race with Nicole Lee
- Ep 10: Choosing Gratitude and Glitter with Nancy Netherland
- Modern Mystics Institute
- Casey O’Roarty’s Joyful Courage - a resource for positive parenting
This Week's Challenge:
For this week’s challenge, Dr. Samantha challenges us to do the values exercise from a chapter in her book. This exercise is designed to help you understand what aspects of your inner and outer worlds are most important to you.
You'll discover what values and ideals you want your life--and your choices-- to be lining up with on a daily basis.
This is the first step, Dr. Samantha says, in finally overcoming overwhelm; if you're trying to have less stress and/or if you want to be less overwhelmed, lining your choices up with your values is the key to making that happen.
Learn More About Dr. Samantha:
Dr. SAMANTHA BRODY is a licensed naturopathic physician and acupuncturist, and the founder of Evergreen Natural Health Center in Portland, OR. For decades in her private practice and virtual consulting business Dr. Samantha has helped thousands of people transform their lives with her innovative, personalized approach. She is the author of Overcoming Overwhelm: Dismantle Your Stress from the Inside Out (Sounds True Publishing). You can find her online at www.DrSamantha.com and on social @drsamanthand.
Connect with Dr. Samantha:
Announcements:
Mother’s Quest is turning 3!
It's hard to believe but on December 1, Mother's Quest Podcats will be turning 3 years old. In honor of that milestone, I'm going to record a special episode with some of the key takeaways and reflections I've had on my journey over the last 3 years. I would also love to share your voice and your reflections on things that you've been able to take away from these conversations.
Please take a moment to either send me an email at juile@mothersquest.com or leave me a voice message by using the speak pipe tool on the podcast page at www.mothersquest.com. I look forward to hearing all you have to share and celebrating this milestone with you!
Join Speaker Coach Alexia Vernon as Ambassador in the Mother's Quest Facebook Group
Last weekend, I had an amazing experience hosting an Improv for Speakers Master Class with the incredible speaker coach Alexia Vernon. Even though many of you wanted to join us in person but couldn’t, you can still benefit from an opportunity to learn from Alexia. This month in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group, Alexia is our “ambassador” and will be sharing tips and resources and answering your questions about public speaking. So, if you’re not yet a member of the group, come on over to www.mothersquest.com/community to request to join us.
Want More Reflection in Your Life?
Book A Discovery Call
Some key themes that emerge from all my conversations, is the power of reflection and the power of being seen. These are elements that I bring, not only to every podcast interview, but to my one-one-one coaching and Mother’s Quest Circle facilitation. If you’re seeking more space for pause and reflection in your life, I encourage you to reach out to me for a discovery call to learn how we might work together. Visit mothersquest.as.me/discoverysession to schedule a time to talk.
Click here to book a discovery call
One Minute Mom Manifesto
⚡️Have you been feeling a nudge to say "yes" to create your Mother's Quest Manifesto? The official challenge and giveaway may be over, but the invitation and content is always there for you to create your #oneminutemommanifesto
Here are some easy steps you can follow...
👉 Join the Mother's Quest Facebook Group www.mothersquest.com/community to find the "unit" for the Manifesto Challenge's reflective prompts and live videos. It's all waiting for you!
👉 Follow along with the "unit" at your own pace. Share your reflections along the way in the comments. Let us cheer you on!
👉 Give yourself some quiet time to create your own #oneminutemommanifesto in whatever way feels good...writing, art, photos, song. It can be simple and quick. Don't overthink it. What matters most, as a guiding light, for how you want to live your life at this stage of raising your children?
👉 Share your #oneminutemommanifesto on social media with the hashtag. Tag me if you can to make sure I've seen it. Consider nominating a friend who would benefit.
--Join us, share or tag a friend, or comment on how the #oneminutemommanifesto has helped you if you've already created yours.--
Would LOVE for more of you to join us in claiming, or reclaiming, HOW you want to live your life ✨🙌
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Anne Fergurson of Mamafuel
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Three of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
---
Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
I’ll be back in two weeks with a new episode, but I wanted to bring this encore conversation with Mothers Against Police Brutality’s Sara Mokuria in a week where so many of us have been grappling with the issue of police violence and what we can do about it.
This week, our consciousness has been focused on the tragic deaths of two black people, Botham Jean and Atiana Jefferson, who were murdered in their own homes by police officers. Botham was in his own apartment when an off duty police officer shot and killed him, allegedly mistaking him for an intruder in her own apartment. Recently, the woman who killed him was sentenced to only 10 years in prison for his killing. Atiana Jefferson, who was playing video games with her nephew in her own home at the time, was murdered when an officer sent to the house by a neighbor because of an open door, immediately shot and killed Atiana instead of checking on her wellbeing.
I know many of us have been searching for some action we can take about this issue and I want to encourage you to do two things: first listen to this conversation with Sara Mokuria, one of the co-founders of Mothers Against Police Brutality. She will give you insight and advocacy steps from her own experience losing her father. And then, make a donation to Mothers Against Police Brutality, an organization that is seeking change by addressing policy and building police accountability, beginning in Texas but with nationwide impact.
Inspired by my last conversation with trust-based philanthropy thought leader Pia Infante, our family committed to an ongoing monthly donation to support their work over time, and made the donation in honor of two men who lost their lives to police violence over the last year in my own area, Chinedu Okobi and Miles Hall.
As you listen, I hope you’ll consider making a donation as well and I also challenge you to identify just one person who you can share this episode and this call to action with; together we can start to take steps in the direction of police accountability. Now here is my conversation with Sara Mokuria.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Click forward now to pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
Make a donation by visiting http://mothersagainstpolicebrutality.org/donate/.
ORIGINAL SHOW NOTES
It’s an honor and responsibility to share this Episode #33 of the Mother’s Quest Podcast with Sara Mokuria, co-founder of Mothers Against Police Brutality. It’s the third and final in a series I recorded as part of the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative and it comes to you with a call to action to get involved with this issue today.
This episode was dedicated by Collette Flanagan, the founder of Mothers Against Police Brutality, who turned her grief from the loss of her son, Clinton Allen, into fuel for change.
In her dedication, Collette reminded us of our common humanity as mothers and that an insult to one mother is an insult to all mothers. It is this knowing that caused me to record this series after I saw the heart-breaking video of Diamond Reynolds and her then four year old daughter after they witnessed the killing of Philando Castile. Philando was like a father to this little girl, was unarmed and was complying with the police officer’s requests when he was shot.
Seeing the trauma and heartbreak endured by this four year old girl, who was the same age as my son when I saw this video, became a catalyst to face the epidemic of police brutality in our country, and to begin taking action, however imperfect.
Much like Diamond Reynold’s daughter, Sara also endured trauma and heartbreak when she watched her father get shot and killed by police at her home in Dallas when she was 10 years old.
Fueled by her own experience, Sara joined Collette along with another co-founder, John Fullinwider, in creating Mother’s Against Police Brutality, as a multi-racial, multi-ethnic coalition uniting mothers nationwide to fight for civil rights, police accountability and policy reform.
Sara is a mom herself to a seven year old boy. And, in addition to her work with Mothers Against Police Brutality, she’s a sought after educator, community organizer, project manager, and facilitator, currently working as Associate Director for Leadership Initiatives with The Institute for Urban Policy Research at the University of Texas at Dallas. She has two masters degrees, has taught both high school and college at the University of Texas at Dallas and currently serves on the International Mechanism Coordinating Committee for the US Human Rights Network.
She came to the conversation with an open heart she told me, and I felt her generosity and honesty throughout as she shared how police violence changed her life forever, discussed the trauma of being black in America, how the institution of policing and the prison industrial complex contributes to that trauma, and the ways in which an investment in Mothers Against Police Brutality can change policies and systems to reduce violence and create more accountability.
As compelling was Sara’s exploration of the vision she has for our future... of vibrant communities where we invest in our young people, lean into and value our differences, and where each of us taps into our own unique magic to get us there.
We ended our conversation with a co-created prayer, a wish for ourselves as much as for all of you listening, to move into greater responsibility for this work from wherever we are, to have the courage to go to those difficult and painful places so we can create a freer future, and to take this moment right now to support this cause.
I’m doing that today by making a financial contribution to Mothers Against Police Brutality and putting my resources with the mothers, like Sara and Collette, who are closest to the problem and who can see the solution. I hope you’ll join me.
Visit http://mothersagainstpolicebrutality.org/donate/ to make a donation and reference Mother’s Quest or, if contributing on November 28th, Giving Tuesday, visit the Mother's Quest Facebook Fundraising Page to contribute to the Giving Tuesday Campaign.
This episode dedicated by
Mothers Against Police Brutality founder Collette Flanagan, whose son, Clinton Allen, was shot and killed by the Dallas Police in March of 2013.
Topics discussed in this episode
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Sara’s joyous childhood which changed forever when her father was killed by Dallas police officers when she was just 10 years old
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How Sara’s mother was her fiercest advocate, even as her mother grappled with the deeply traumatic effects of her husband’s killing and the lack of support as a crime victim.
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Disturbing facts about our current law enforcement policies, lack of accountability, the militarization of police, and budget allocations that favor the prison industrial complex over investments that would build a vibrant community
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The New Jim Crowe and the War on Drugs and how it has played out as a war on people of color
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White privilege and how to move from shame and guilt to responsibility and action
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How Sara teaches her son to understand injustice, the history we don’t learn in our schools, and how tenderness, love and joy can be an act of resistance
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What happened when Sara met with the officer who killed her father years later and how that shifted her perspective about what the problem really is
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How women make up half of the world’s population and how we birthed the other half, therefore we are the world. And, the power of mothers to chart the direction of our families and communities.
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The importance of finding your own unique magic to make a difference and why Sara keeps her heart open to welcome people to this cause when they come to it
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Our prayer and invitation to you the listener
Resources mentioned in this episode
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The Movie 13th, directed by Ava Duvernay
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The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
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EP31: Brave Spaces and Solidarity with “Rad Women” Author Kate Schatz
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How the Irish Became White by Noel Ignatiev
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Dallas Woman Turns Tragedy Into Conversation About Race, an article where Sara talks about the system and not police officers being the problem
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Stride Toward Justice: 9 Steps to Change Policing in America - policy recommendations from Mothers Against Police Brutality
This Week’s Three-fold Challenge
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Have courageous conversation about these issues with your families during the holidays.
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Get involved and informed about these issues locally. Become an advocate in your city.
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Make a monetary contribution to support the mothers who are closest to the solution at Mothers Against Police Brutality.
Announcements
Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative
If you identify as a woman podcaster, I hope you’ll join us for the third season of the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative. Our group recently committed to the topic of immigration from a social justice perspective, and we invite you to join us by committing to record an episode that can shine a light on this important issue. To take a look at past seasons and get more information visit www.womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com.
Applications are open for the Spark Your E.P.I.C. Live Virtual Circle
If you’re on a quest to live an E.P.I.C. life, but you’ve been feeling challenged, isolated, or unsure of the path ahead, the Mother’s Quest Circle may be the source of connection you’re looking for.
The Mother’s Quest Circle provides inspiration, coaching and community for an intimate group of no more than 8 women who are ready to say “yes” to:
- Reflect together, in a community of like-minded mothers, on what matters most
- To consciously live a more E.P.I.C. life
- To take bold action toward one of the E.P.I.C. life guideposts before the end of the session
- To hold space for sharing, coaching, and championing one another so we are “in community” on our journey
Click HERE to Learn More
Acknowledgements
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
“Vince” of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Three of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
—
Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
I’m so honored to bring you this reflective conversation about investing from a place of trust in our dreams of becoming mothers, in our children, and in the causes we believe in, with someone who has been a dear friend and colleague for over a decade, Pia Infante.
As Trustee and Co-Executive Director of the Whitman Institute, Pia leverages decades of multi-sector experience as an educator, facilitator, organizational development consultant and more. In her work at the Institute and as a speaker, she advocates for radically embodied leadership and trust-based philanthropy in settings that have included Harvard Kennedy School: Center for Public Leadership, Ashoka Future Forum, Net Impact, Council on Foundations, International Human Rights Funders Group, and Skoll World Forum to name a few.
Before Pia joined The Whitman Institute, she and I worked together for years as facilitators of a practice called “adult reflection” and also supported one another in our own lives as participants in a women’s reflection circle. I consider her part of my "root system" and so appreciated the opportunity to reconnect and uncover lessons about Pia’s decade-long fertility journey, her relationship with her mother and her ancestors from the Philippines, her experience navigating post-partum depression and the waters of new motherhood, and her perspective about money as energy we can get circulating by investing in organizations and movements over the long-term, from a place of deep, relational trust.
The thread of trust weaved through the entire conversation. I hope you leave this conversation as I did, renewed and inspired to trust the unfolding of your own epic life journey, of your children’s development in their own time and in their own way, and in your own power to invest in the causes that matter to you.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by:
etsuko Kubo of On The Move
This episode is dedicated to the diverse group of 30 women who are mothers, like etsuko, that work for On the Move (OTM) on behalf of themselves, their children and communities. OTM’s initiatives offer a powerful and groundbreaking combination of strategies seeking to engage and develop new leaders, collaborate with partners in rigorous systems change, and foster communities that are inclusive and equitable.
Based in Napa, OTM was founded in 2004 with a mission to develop and sustain young people as leaders by building exceptional programs that challenge inequities in their communities. Working for over 14 years to expand throughout the Bay Area, OTM has implemented programs and initiatives that develop the next generations of community leaders who reflect the diversity of the communities in which they live and work.
In partnership with local communities, OTM has explored innovative approaches to closing the achievement gap for children of color, transforming outcomes for former foster youth, promoting health and wellness across communities, and building strong, engaged families.
For over a decade On The Move has created and implemented innovative programming that challenges communities and local leaders to push beyond mediocrity and into excellence. Supported by a track record of results-oriented programming and in partnership with the hundreds of established community partners, OTM works to unite communities and focus on the safety and inclusion of all people.
Learn more about OTM and their work here
In This Episode We Talk About:
- Lessons learned on Pia and her wife Nzinga's decade-long fertility journey to having their daughter Laniakea and the extra challenges a queer couple faces on that quest.
- Being present with our intention without being attached to every facet of the outcome
- Mindful engagement with our children and not trying to force our kids into a prescribed timeline or way of doing things
- Whitman Institute’s decision to “spend down,” the concept of money as "energy" and why Pia wishes more of us would get money circulating
- Thoughtful ways philanthropists and donors can shift the power dynamic with those they fund to be more equitable, building non-transactional relationships, reciprocal relationships, and investing as partners
- Why a funder's job is to put gas in the tank of those they fund, not to tell them to use this GPS or follow this particular map.
- The challenges of post-partum depression and that feeling of love and terror simultaneously Pia experienced as a new mother
- The power of building new circles of community and how connecting with other mothers struggling with the same issues helped Pia crawl onto a life raft from what felt like a swamp.
- Investing in our children, ourselves, and in the causes we care about
Resources Connected to this Episode:
- The Whitman Institute
- Trust-Based Philanthropy Project
- Ep 66: A Love Letter to Friendship with Desiree Lynn Adaway and Pamela Slim
- Ep 27: Courageous Conversations about Race with Nicole Lee
- Ep 61: Reclaiming Ourselves in Motherhood: Revisited with Graeme Seabrook
Additional Resources from Pia:
- The Gift of Disequilibrium
- The Center for Effective Philanthropy
- Winners Take All: The Elite Charade of Changing the World by Anand Giridharadas
- Letter to My Daughter by Maya Angelou
This Week's Challenge:
In this episode, Pia challenges us to tap into the power of money as energy and to get it circulating by making a monthly long-term commitment to a cause we think will contribute to an epic life. I said yes to this by personally committing to a monthly, long-term donation to the organization featured in the episode’s dedication, On the Move, and also decided to engage my children and husband in making a long-term commitment to a cause that matters to them by year-end.
Learn More About Pia:
Pia Infante is the Co-Executive Director of The Whitman Institute, which seeks to leverage the power of trust-based philanthropy to promote more equitable practices in resourcing social good.
As Trustee and Co-Executive Director of The Whitman Institute, Pia draws on decades of multi-sector experience as an educator, facilitator, organizational development consultant, executive coach, non-profit manager, business owner, writer and speaker to advocate for trust-based practice.
Pia also speaks and teaches on radically embodied leadership and trust-based practice in many settings including Harvard Kennedy School: Center for Public Leadership, Ashoka Future Forum, Opportunity Collaboration, Net Impact, Council on Foundations, Grantmakers for Effective Organizations, International Human Rights Funders Group, and Skoll World Forum 2017.
She proudly serves as the Board Chair for the Center for Media Justice. She is an I.C.F. certified executive leadership coach, holds a M.A. in Education from the New School for Social Research, and a B.A. in Rhetoric from the University of California at Berkeley.
Connect with Pia:
Announcements:
Mother’s Quest Q & A with Ashia Ray
My incredible guest, Ashia Ray, and I have set aside October 3rd from noon to 1 pm for a Mother’s Quest Q & A with Ashia. To register, join us in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group to find announcements. Click mothersquest.com/comunity to join.
Watch out for a Bonus Episode!
If you want to know what is on Ashia Ray's bookshelf, join the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group where we will be releasing bonus audio to the group next week!
Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative
If you identify as a woman podcaster, I hope you’ll join us for the third season of the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative. Our group recently committed to the topic of immigration from a social justice perspective, and we invite you to join us by committing to record an episode that can shine a light on this important issue. To take a look at past seasons and get more information visit www.womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com.
Want More Reflection in Your Life?
Book A Discovery Call
Some key themes that emerge from all my conversations, is the power of reflection and the power of being seen. These are elements that I bring, not only to every podcast interview, but to my one-one-one coaching and Mother’s Quest Circle facilitation. If you’re seeking more space for pause and reflection in your life, I encourage you to reach out to me for a discovery call to learn how we might work together. Visit mothersquest.as.me/discoverysession to schedule a time to talk.
Click here to book a discovery call
One Minute Mom Manifesto
⚡️Have you been feeling a nudge to say "yes" to create your Mother's Quest Manifesto? The official challenge and giveaway may be over, but the invitation and content is always there for you to create your #oneminutemommanifesto
Here are some easy steps you can follow...
👉 Join the Mother's Quest Facebook Group www.mothersquest.com/community to find the "unit" for the Manifesto Challenge's reflective prompts and live videos. It's all waiting for you!
👉 Follow along with the "unit" at your own pace. Share your reflections along the way in the comments. Let us cheer you on!
👉 Give yourself some quiet time to create your own #oneminutemommanifesto in whatever way feels good...writing, art, photos, song. It can be simple and quick. Don't overthink it. What matters most, as a guiding light, for how you want to live your life at this stage of raising your children?
👉 Share your #oneminutemommanifesto on social media with the hashtag. Tag me if you can to make sure I've seen it. Consider nominating a friend who would benefit.
--Join us, share or tag a friend, or comment on how the #oneminutemommanifesto has helped you if you've already created yours.--
Would LOVE for more of you to join us in claiming, or reclaiming, HOW you want to live your life ✨🙌
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
On the Move and etsuko Kubo
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Three of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
---
Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
In the midst of what feels like a whirlwind in my home and family life, it's a pleasure for me to share this encore episode with mindfulness educator, corporate trainer, podcast host and author of “Mindful Parenting in a Messy World,” Michelle Gale.
I have a 7-year-old birthday party coming up for my little guy, Jacob on Saturday, my parents have just arrived from Los Angeles, we're still integrating our brand new puppy into our home, and things are just feeling, like - a lot. This is true for so many of us at this time of year as we're helping our kids settle into their new school schedule and environment, tackling homework, and all the things.
I remembered that I had this conversation with Michael Gale on the podcast this time last year when we were in a similar flurry and knew I could really benefit from listening again. I always like to share the goodness...and thought this encore episode might help light your way too this fall season!
A few other announcements:
**Stay tuned for a brand new episode with my dear friend, new mother, and incredible philanthropist Pia Infante next week.
**And would love for you to join us in the Mother's Quest Facebook group where I'll be making announcements about a Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year workshop in early October to help us reflect on the chapter behind us and set intentions for the new school year. www.mothersquest.com/community to join
Until then, I hope that you enjoy this conversation with Micheal Gale, either for the first time or listening to it again as an encore! And that you find some equanimity and calm in the storm this fall season.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Click forward now to pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
Ep 51: Equanimity & The Calm In the Storm with Mindful Parent Michelle Gale
This conversation, rooted in how to bring more equanimity to our lives–finding our center of calm in the storm–came to me just when I needed it most, during a start to my fall season marked by big school transitions for my children, travel away from home, and supporting my family after my father’s bypass heart surgery.
In the midst of all of that, it was such a gift to have this time with Michelle, whose journey brought her from working in technology startups like Twitter to a deep dive in mindfulness training. Michelle draws on that training today as an advisor to organizations like Wisdom 2.0, in trainings with corporations like Disney and Google, for summits and workshops for parents that she organizes, and as a parent with her own two boys at home.
An awareness of our impact in the day to day, through being a mindful parent, is something that Michelle embodies in her own parenting, in the appreciation she describes for her own mother, a single parent who adopted Michelle at the age of four months old, and in the ways that she makes mindfulness relatable and accessible to those she teaches.
I learned so much from Michelle in the time we spent together, about answering our own calls for life-long learning, about slowing down, raising our awareness and making the implicit explicit, of the importance of bringing compassion, especially during times of transition, and how to draw on our experience as mothers as a source of learning and transformation.
When we began, I asked Michelle to lead us through a Three Breath Practice which I heard her share about on Deborah Reber’s TILT Parenting Podcast. The practice became the bookends for this episode, the opening that allowed us each to make intentions for our time together, and the challenge that Michelle invites us to integrate into our lives.
As you listen to this episode, I invite you to slow down by taking your own three breaths with us, tap into Michelle’s intention for finding “equanimity,” your center in the midst of chaos, and open yourself to Michelle’s wisdom. If you do, I’m certain you’ll find more of your calm in the storm and connect more fully to your own mindful parenting in a messy world.
In This Episode We Talk About:
- The Three Breath Practice and how I’ve begun using it to help me make better decisions about how to use my time.
-
The concept of “equanimity” and the importance of creating awareness and space for our discomfort so that we can come back to our center.
-
Michelle’s appreciation for “Attachment Theory” through the lens of her own experience being adopted at the age of four months. Also the realization that she doesn’t have a newborn photo and how that drove her inquiry about who was mothering her before she was adopted.
-
Michelle’s journey to mindfulness and how she roots her practice in the day to day experience of mothering, especially in the challenging moments, like when our children can’t fall asleep alone or when they struggle with homework.
- Michelle’s ritual before sitting down to do creative work that she has introduced to her children as well before they do homework.
-
Michelle’s passion for changing the landscape of how corporations think about supporting parents and the E.P.I.C. snapshot moment that happened for Michelle during a training at Macy’s.
-
How her experience in circle and community enabled Michelle to call more of that connection into her life and more about the tools she uses to “call in”.
-
How Michelle is bringing her mindfulness practices to her health, especially as she navigates the transition to menopause and the hormonal swings and changes that come with it.
Resources and Topics Mentioned:
- Tilt Parenting Podcast: Michelle Gale on the Power of Mindful Parenting in a Messy World
- The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less by Christine Carter
- Jonathan Field’s Good Life Project Community where Michelle and I first connected
- Wisdom 2.0
This Week’s Challenge:
Michelle encourages us to find a place in our life where we can consciously use the 3 Breaths Practice that she modeled in the episode. The practice includes:
- Focusing on your breath coming in and out
- Letting your body relax; and,
- Asking yourself, what’s really important and what really matters?
By noticing an area of our lives that needs more consciousness (like reaching for our phone for distraction for instance) and using this practice, we can invite more intentionality, awareness, connection, and equanimity into our lives.
Learn More About Michelle:
Michelle Gale is the podcast host and author of the book “Mindful Parenting in a Messy World”, a mindfulness teacher, executive coach and a corporate trainer. She works in corporations, schools and communities teaching and speaking to fellow parents about mindful parenting.
Michelle’s Mindful Parenting Resource List
Announcements:
Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year
Anyone else feel like they need a reset to their year?
Earlier this year, we declared February the new January and facilitated a Mother’s Quest Workshop/Virtual Milestone Hike experience to help us all start again.
Using photos from my favorite local hike, I took a small group on a virtual journey to:
- Reflect on our last chapter (as we ascend)
- Decide what we want to release (using an image of a big bad bonfire!) and what we want to carry forward
- Then, set intentions along the E.P.I.C. guideposts for our new chapter.
If you decide you want to reset and begin again, we will be doing another round of the Spark Your E.P.I.C. Year Workshop this October.
Mother’s Quest Q & A with Ashia Ray
We've set aside October 3rd from noon to 1 pm for a Mother’s Quest Q & A with Ashia. To register to join us, follow the link here or join us in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group to find announcements. Click mothersquest.com/comunity to join. To participate in the call, we invite you to join Raising Luminaries as a patron at a level that calls to you.
Want More Reflection in Your Life?
Book A Discovery Call
Some key themes that emerge from all my conversations, is the power of reflection and the power of being seen. These are elements that I bring, not only to every podcast interview, but to my one-one-one coaching and Mother’s Quest Circle facilitation. If you’re seeking more space for pause and reflection in your life, I encourage you to reach out to me for a discovery call to learn how we might work together. Visit mothersquest.as.me/discoverysession to schedule a time to talk.
Click here to book a discovery call
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Three of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
I’m honored to bring you such a powerful and important conversation on the podcast today with a woman who has already impacted my life and my children’s life, Ashia Ray of Raising Luminaries and Books for Littles.
Ashia is a multiracial (Chinese/Irish) autistic neurodiversity rights advocate and the mother of two kyriarchy-smashing young children! As the founder of Raising Luminaries, she helps parents and educators ignite the next generation of kind and brilliant leaders.
Thousands of parents like me, on a quest to tackle hard topics with our children, turn to Ashia, who through her thoughtfully researched and child-tested book lists, at BooksForLittles.com and in her private group, helps us find the best books to foster age-appropriate conversations with our kids about white supremacy, cissexism, ableism and more.
By using picture books to make hard conversations easier, and to introduce complex topics simply, Books for Littles also educates grownups like me, who then go on to have ongoing discussions with our littles and our extended community.
I loved the opportunity to delve deeply into how Ashia experiences the world as an autistic adult and mother, how we can deepen our own awareness, understanding and advocacy for neurodiversity, and how we can fight all the isms, smashing the kyriarchy (the intersection of them all) through the power of books.
This idea that we don’t have to be the same to want the best for each other connects to everything that Ashia embodies. And just as my last episode with Pamela Slim and Desiree Adaway made me feel like I wanted to be a better friend, this conversation, and the micro-challenge that Ashia gave us, made me want to be a kinder more inclusive human being.
In addition to saying yes to providing captions to photos in anything I post, I also committed to providing a transcript for this episode. I hope you will not only listen, but also read through the transcript, as this conversation is so full of insights that I found myself needing to go back over again and again. I hope what Ashia shares will help you, as it did me, to see things from a new perspective and feel inspired to smash the kyriarchy in your own ways in your epic life.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Click forward now to pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by:
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
This episode is dedicated by Kate Amoo-Gottfried to her two sons, Marlowe and Miles, as well as to the group of women in her life teaching her what it means and how to be an activist: Ebele Okobi, Dr. Khadijah Costley White, Regina Islas, Ginny Kraus, and Dania Rajendra.
Kate is a recovering business consultant and a life-long learner of how to make change happen and also a full-time mom of two active boys named Marlowe and Miles. She is passionate about children, mothering, education, and the plight of second-class citizens around the globe. The daughter of bleeding-heart liberals, she has spent a life-time reconciling being both “Minnesota Nice” and a revolutionary at heart.
Kate is an enthusiastic social justice warrior working to bring civilian oversight and reform to San Mateo County and across California as an organizer with Justice for Chinedu.
You can read some of her writing here: Bigger and Bigger and Always Black
And get involved in her civilian oversight and reform organizing here:Justice for Chinedu
In This Episode We Talk About:
-
The definition of “allistic” and how Ashia’s allistic husband helped her translate the Mother’s Quest Podcast questions into more pragmatic language
-
Unraveling stigmas about autism and exploring how autism can be a powerful and positive part of someone’s identity
-
How to think about the spectrum as not linear but muti-dimensional on five different points
-
Identifying the ‘ism’s’ and the intersections of them all known as kyriarchy
-
Ashia's thoughtful explanation about how classifying autistic people as “high functioning” and “low functioning” is harmful and perpetuates supremacy.
-
Her journey to creating Books for Littles and Raising Luminaries and some of the favorite books on her bookshelf (listen to the bonus audio for more on this!)
-
How Ashia is exploring the meaning of “transformative justice” and applying it to situations that come up with her children at home
-
What is exposure anxiety and learning how to ask for and receive help
-
The power of micro-challenges to start to shift our own sense of self as someone who cares about inclusivity
-
The importance of centering people with differences and providing a space for those whose stories are not traditionally seen or understood
Resources Connected to this Episode:
-
The “Misfits List” -Making Friends Is Hard - Books For Kids Who Feel Left Out
-
The Art of Autism: Understanding the spectrum - a comic strip explanation
Additional nuggets from today's episode:
-
#OwnVoices first coined by Corinne Duyvis (Autistic Kidlit author)
-
Kyriarchy was first coined by Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza
-
Mia Mungus and How Transformative Justice intersects with Interdependence and Dismantling Oppression
Resources mentioned in the "bonus" content:
This Week's Challenge:
For this week’s challenge, Ashia challenges us to write descriptions or captions whenever we post pictures on social media. This helps people of low vision, or who can’t afford high speed internet connections, to understand what the image is trying to portray. Starting with small micro-challenges like this one helps us to shift our own perception of our identity as someone who cares about people who are different than us who have different needs.
Learn More About Ashia:
Ashia Ray is a multiracial (Chinese/Irish) autistic neurodiversity rights advocate and the mother of two kyriarchy-smashing young children! As the founder of Raising Luminaries, she helps parents and educators ignite the next generation of kind and brilliant leaders
If you're nervous about tackling hard topics with young kids, Ashia helps you find the best children's books to foster age-appropriate conversations with your kids about white supremacy, cissexism, ableism, and more on her website at BooksForLittles.com.
By using picture books to make hard conversations easier, and to introduce complex topics simply, Books for Littles educates grownups, who then go on to have ongoing discussions with their littles and wider community.
Connect with Ashia:
Immigrant Solidarity Family Action Toolkit
Join Aisha's Raising Luminaries - Student Ignition Society group on Facebook here.
If you want to know more about Ashia’s work, experiences and the current project she is working on, click here!
Announcements:
Watch out for a Bonus Episode!
If you want to know what is on Ashia Ray's bookshelf, join the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group and will be releasing the episode to the group next week!
Mother’s Quest Q & A with Ashia Ray
My incredible guest, Ashia Ray, and I have set aside October 3rd from noon to 1 pm for a Mother’s Quest Q & A with Ashia. To register to join us, follow the link here or join us in the Mother’s Quest Facebook Group to find announcements. Click mothersquest.com/comunity to join.
Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative
Recently, we marked the two year anniversary of the Charlottesville Rally. I remember waking to the news the next day and deciding I had a responsibility to use my voice and the platform I’m building with the Mother’s Quest Podcast to pursue social justice. Many said “yes” alongside me and The Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative was born.
First season episodes, with a focus on anti-racism and police brutality, are up at www.womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com, and episodes I recorded for our second season, on the intersectional impact of gun violence, are assembled on the latest Mother’s Quest Blog.
We've also begun identifying the topic for our next season's series. If you're a women podcaster who wants to join our effort, come on over to the Women Podcasters in Solidarity Facebook Group to help us select our topic.
Want More Reflection in Your Life?
Book A Discovery Call
Some key themes that emerge from all my conversations, is the power of reflection and the power of being seen. These are elements that I bring, not only to every podcast interview, but to my one-one-one coaching and Mother’s Quest Circle facilitation. If you’re seeking more space for pause and reflection in your life, I encourage you to reach out to me for a discovery call to learn how we might work together. Visit mothersquest.as.me/discoverysession to schedule a time to talk.
Click here to book a discovery call
One Minute Mom Manifesto
⚡️Have you been feeling a nudge to say "yes" to create your Mother's Quest Manifesto? The official challenge and giveaway may be over, but the invitation and content is always there for you to create your #oneminutemommanifesto
Here are some easy steps you can follow...
👉 Join the Mother's Quest Facebook Group www.mothersquest.com/community to find the "unit" for the Manifesto Challenge's reflective prompts and live videos. It's all waiting for you!
👉 Follow along with the "unit" at your own pace. Share your reflections along the way in the comments. Let us cheer you on!
👉 Give yourself some quiet time to create your own #oneminutemommanifesto in whatever way feels good...writing, art, photos, song. It can be simple and quick. Don't overthink it. What matters most, as a guiding light, for how you want to live your life at this stage of raising your children?
👉 Share your #oneminutemommanifesto on social media with the hashtag. Tag me if you can to make sure I've seen it. Consider nominating a friend who would benefit.
--Join us, share or tag a friend, or comment on how the #oneminutemommanifesto has helped you if you've already created yours.--
Would LOVE for more of you to join us in claiming, or reclaiming, HOW you want to live your life ✨🙌
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Kate Amoo-Gottfried
Nicole Lee
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Three of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
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Mother's Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/
What a joy and honor it was to hold space for reflective conversation with two change-making women who have an epic friendship that has spanned more than three decades, Pamela Slim and Desiree Lynn Adaway.
The two met on a hill in Northern California on the first day of college at the age of 18 and have been best friends ever since. From completely different lived experiences, Desiree is a black woman from the south side of Chicago, and Pamela a white woman from Marin in the San Francisco Bay Area, they unite around common interests and connections that transcend while never forgetting their differences. They love each other’s families fiercely and fight in their own unique ways and in their own communities for inclusion, equity and justice.
Mother to two grown daughters, Desiree is also a consultant, trainer, coach and speaker working to build resilient, equitable, and inclusive organizations. Holding a vision for people’s lives, workplaces and communities until they can hold it for themselves, she has committed over 20 years to creating, leading and managing international, multicultural teams through major organizational changes in over 40 countries. She also teaches and advocates powerfully in the online space and in a course I took from her and her partners called Diversity is an Asset.
Pamela is an award-winning author, community builder, consultant, speaker, and small business strategist. Alongside being a step mother to an adult son and raising her two teenagers, she’s also the founder of The Main Street Learning Lab in downtown Mesa, where she works to increase the effectiveness, equity, and visibility of small business owners from marginalized communities including women, people of color, and the LGBTQ community, and to connect these business owners with the rapidly growing opportunities in Mesa, the Phoenix metro area, and beyond.
Being deeply seen and deeply understood is a theme that runs through this conversation, as we explore the ways that Desiree and Pamela experience the epic guideposts in their lives and in their friendship.
I felt like the entire conversation was a love letter to friendship and a call to action to risk being known, knowing others, expanding our perspectives and championing diversity. I hope you’ll listen with an open heart and leave this conversation as I did, committed to the specific challenges that Pamela and Desiree offered us and inspired to show up every day as a better ally and a better friend.
Much appreciation,
P.S. Know someone who would love this conversation? Click forward now to pay this forward to a friend who may be interested.
This Episode is Dedicated by: Nicole Lee
Nicole Lee is the founder of Inclusive Life™ and mom to Madison and Zindzi. She is also the co-founder of the Lee Bayard Group LLC and Black Movement-Law Project (BMLP).
Nicole Lee is a diversity, equity and inclusion expert, leadership coach, nationally recognized speaker and strategist who regularly consults with nonprofits, schools, businesses, and political and social movements to improve their climate for themselves and all those that they serve.
Nicole is a prolific speaker and commentator who has regularly appeared on CNN, MSNBC, NPR, and BBC. She has been recognized for her outstanding contributions in the private and public sectors through numerous awards, including Congressional Black Caucus, Running Starts “Women to Watch”, Black Women’s Roundtable TrailBlazer and Global Leadership and the National Newspapers Publishers Association’s Press Champion Award.
Nicole is also an attorney and nonprofit leader, having formerly served as the first female President of TransAfrica, the nation’s premier African American foreign affairs organization. She, along with civil and labor rights icon Bill Lucy, was the coordinator of the Life, Legacy and Values of Nelson Mandela, a six-month national celebration of the life of Nelson Mandela and his US Memorial Service at the National Cathedral. She is a founder of the BMLP, a legal organization affiliated with the Movement for Black Lives.
Visit Nicole Lee’s Website:
Follow Nicole Lee on Social Media:
In This Episode We Talk About:
- The beautiful birthday letter Pamela wrote to Desiree and posted on Facebook that inspired me to record this episode
- Pam and Desiree’s life before they became best friends, how they found each other and how they’ve shaped each other's lives since
- What the bracelet Desiree wears every day says and how it connects to her motherhood, her work, and her life journey
- How I learned from Desiree that allyship is a daily commitment and how that connects to how Desiree and Pamela approach their friendship
- What it looks like to be in right relationship
- What Desiree means when she says “Pam never remembers that I’m black and she never forgets that I’m black.”
- The “Sister Resister” card Desiree pulled from her deck that connected perfectly to this conversation
- The epic snapshot moment of Pam’s with her own daughter that Desiree says exemplified Pam’s self-awareness and lack of ego
- Dismantling and examining cultural norms and creating our own definition of culture
- Pamela’s and Desiree’s challenges for us to expand our own awareness and perspective of diversity by reading books only of authors of color for 3 or 6 months (you choose!) and to notice in our spaces and places who is and isn’t being represented
Mentioned from this Episode:
-
Good Life Project: Are You Building a Body of Work? Pam Slim Shows You How
-
Nicole Lee and my episode with Nicole on the Mother’s Quest Podcast
- Rep. Ayanna Pressley at Netroots Nation Conference
This Week’s Challenge:
For this episode, Pam and Desiree challenge us to take 3 to 6 months of reading books that are from people of color, if you’re a dominant identity or if you’re white. While you’re at it, you’ll notice how your perspective and view of the world around you will change.
Another challenge... when you are in any situation, school, work, office, ask yourself “who is here?”, “who’s not here?”, and “why aren’t they here?”. Answering these questions will raise your level of awareness, and help you bridge the gap that exists in the areas where we are not seeing diverse representation.
Learn More About Desiree:
Desiree is a seasoned nonprofit consultant and facilitator. All of her presentations have a mix of thought-provoking content presented with humor and wit. When she teaches, she makes a point to connect with every person and create a safe space for their growth. She is known by staff, senior leadership, peers, and partners as being great at open, honest, and productive conversations. She is not afraid of addressing anything that gets in the way of great work. Her style is positive, approachable, engaging, service-oriented and audience-centered.
Email her @: desiree@desireeadaway.com
Connect with Desiree:
Learn More About Pamela:
Pamela Slim is an award-winning author, community builder, consultant, speaker, and small business strategist. She is the founder of The Main Street Learning Lab in downtown Mesa, where she works with business owners to remove obstacles to small business success and test and try new business ideas.
She is best known for her book Escape from Cubicle Nation (named Best Small Business and Entrepreneur book of 2009 from 800 CEO Read) along with her follow up book Body of Work. Both were published by Penguin/Portfolio.
Pam is frequently quoted as an expert in publications such as BusinessWeek, The New York Times, Money Magazine and Psychology Today. Pam lives in Mesa, Arizona.
Connect with Pamela:
Announcements:
Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative
As this episode is released, we are just days away from the two year anniversary of the Charlottesville Rally. I remember waking to the news the next day and deciding I had a responsibility to use my voice and the platform I’m building with the Mother’s Quest Podcast to pursue social justice. Many said “yes” alongside me and The Women Podcasters in Solidarity Initiative was born.
First season episodes, with a focus on anti-racism and police brutality, are up at www.womenpodcastersinsolidarity.com, and episodes I recorded for our second season, on the intersectional impact of gun violence, are assembled on the latest Mother’s Quest Blog.
Last weekend’s events, two mass shootings within 24 hours, blasted our consciousness with the work still ahead and urgency to fight gun violence and also the racism tied to these events. I hope you’ll follow the links in the show notes to the episodes recorded and that they might shine some light on a path forward. Because, as my guest on this episode's podcast Desiree says, we only get free together.
Want More Reflection in Your Life?
Book A Discovery Call
Some key themes that emerge from this conversation with Amy Simpkins, is the power of reflection and the power of being seen. These are elements that I bring, not only to every podcast interview, but to my one-one-one coaching and Mother’s Quest Circle facilitation. If you’re seeking more space for pause and reflection in your life, I encourage you to reach out to me for a discovery call to learn how we might work together. Visit mothersquest.as.me/discoverysession to schedule a time to talk.
Click here to book a discovery call
One Minute Mom Manifesto
⚡️Have you been feeling a nudge to say "yes" to create your Mother's Quest Manifesto? The official challenge and giveaway may be over, but the invitation and content is always there for you to create your #oneminutemommanifesto
Here are some easy steps you can follow...
👉 Join the Mother's Quest Facebook Group www.mothersquest.com/community to find the "unit" for the Manifesto Challenge's reflective prompts and live videos. It's all waiting for you!
👉 Follow along with the "unit" at your own pace. Share your reflections along the way in the comments. Let us cheer you on!
👉 Give yourself some quiet time to create your own #oneminutemommanifesto in whatever way feels good...writing, art, photos, song. It can be simple and quick. Don't overthink it. What matters most, as a guiding light, for how you want to live your life at this stage of raising your children?
👉 Share your #oneminutemommanifesto on social media with the hashtag. Tag me if you can to make sure I've seen it. Consider nominating a friend who would benefit.
--Join us, share or tag a friend, or comment on how the #oneminutemommanifesto has helped you if you've already created yours.--
Would LOVE for more of you to join us in claiming, or reclaiming, HOW you want to live your life ✨🙌
Did you catch the Father's Day Special?
Listen to these two amazing fathers who were on the show here:
- Ep 63: A Maker’s Journey to a Good Life with Jonathan Fields
- Ep 64: Fatherhood, Forgiveness and Redemption with Poet Will Little
Acknowledgments:
A big THANK YOU to our “patrons” for helping to bring these conversations to myself and other mothers through financial and/or in-kind support:
Olivia Parr-Rud
"Vince" of the While Black Podcast
Sara Brannin-Mooser
Lindsay Pera
Julie Castro Abrams
Alexia Vernon
Brooke Markevicius
Democracy Clothing
Michael Skolnik
Helgi Maki
Kari Azuma
Tamara Sobomehin
Katie Krimitsos
Carrie Caulfield Arick
Rachel Rosen
Chandra Brooks
Jen Simon
Monisha Vasa
Celia Ward-Wallace
Vanessa Couto
Desiree Adaway
Rachel Steinman
Katie Hanus
Denise Barreto
Sage B. Hobbs
Samantha Nolan-Smith
Jody Smith
Emily Cretella
Collette Flanagan
Titilayo Tinubu Ali
Carly Magnus Hurt
Lizzy Russinko
Suzanne Brown
Mara Berns Langer
Mallory Schlabach
Katharine Earhart
Jessica Kupferman
Jen Jenkins Dohner
Genese Harris
Tonya Rineer
Liane Louie-Badua
Cristin Downs
Erin Kendall
Niko Osoteo
Erik Newton
Claire Fry
Divya Silbermann
Rachel Winter
Caren and Debbie Lieberman
Cameron Miranda
Fran and David Lieberman
Debbie and Alan Goore
The Sustainable Living Podcast
Support the Podcast
If you’d like to make a contribution to Mother’s Quest to support Season Three of the Podcast and/or help provide coaching scholarships for mothers, follow this link to make a contribution.
If you would like to “dedicate” an upcoming episode to a special mother in your life, email me at julie@mothersquest.com
Mother’s Quest is a podcast for moms who are ready to live a truly E.P.I.C. life.
Join in for intimate conversations with a diverse group of inspiring mothers as they share how they are living an E.P.I.C. life, Engaging mindfully with their children (E), Passionately and Purposefully making a difference beyond their family (P), Investing in themselves (I), and Connecting to a strong support network (C).
Join our community of mothers to light the way and sustain you on your quest at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mothersquest/